One More Wedding Project Finalized!

I lovelovelove the album we got through Erica--it's gorgeous and professional and I still can't believe we were able to narrow down all those pictures to just the 75-ish that are in there!

But then I looked at all the pictures from the Shower, and our Bachelorette parties, and the pictures from our friends and family and realized I could not let those go to waste sitting on our Shutterfly site with no purpose. And I thought about all the work we put into everything like selecting our vows and readings, creating our centerpieces and programs, etc; I didn't want to lose all that work. So I created another album, a scrapbook, to keep those memories close at hand.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.

All that's left is to create a small shadowbox for some items, order a canvas portrait print, and get a frame for our Turks & Caicos souvenir map. Oh, and finish that cross-stitch I stated ages ago... It's funny to think that a year later and the wedding still isn't technically "done."

Stories Have Meaning

Yesterday and today are important days in the fight for equal marriage rights for same-sex couples. The HRC has encouraged people to wear red in support of Marriage Equality (please don't call it gay or same-sex marriage, you don't say straight marriage), which has prompted most of my Facebook friends to change their profile pics to a red version of the HRC Equality symbol.

I didn't. I did change my pic to one of Ellie and I at our wedding though, because that was more important to me--putting real faces on this situation, reminding people that, should we ever move to one of the 40 states that don't recognize our marriage, we're as good as strangers to each other. It's not that I don't appreciate the love, support and sentiment expressed by my family and friends--things like this really do go a long way toward promoting acceptance and understanding by a larger audience. But a symbol is often just that (think about all the times women post their bra or purse color in "support" of breast cancer awareness--that goes nowhere to help further the research toward a cure). I don't think this is the same, but I'm still undecided about how I feel about all this.

I do know how I feel about the image I posted above. This morning on my commute, I checked Facebook and saw this image on the personal account of Erica Ewing Photography (yes, I'm cool enough for my photographer to friend me on Facebook!). For some reason, THIS made me tear up. I found Erica by accident at a wedding expo and instantly connected to her. It helped that she recognized Jeremy from a blog post he'd done previously. Her answer to "Have you done a same-sex wedding before?" also helped. Erica smiled & said "I haven't had the opportunity to, but I hope I can" or something like that. So many of the other photographers were disingenuous: smiling too wide & avoiding eye contact because they didn't want to be rude, but clearly NOT comfortable with the idea (you're being obvious, so I won't even think to hire you, don't worry about it); or making up excuses about why they don't have experience with same-sex weddings (I don't actually expect most mainstream photographers to have experience, I really just want to know how to feel about it).

Erica is a professional photographer, and she made money off of us (that's why one goes into business for oneself--to make money), but she CARES--the gifts and time and repeated comments about how much she enjoyed our wedding have gone a long way to make me realize that we ARE just like everyone else.

I lucky to know part of Erica's reason for changing her profile picture, but I don't know the story behind most people's change--these stories are what will change the minds of the undecideds, the ones who don't think they know anyone affected by Marriage Equality, who don't think they know an LGBT person. Don't just change your profile picture, tell the world WHY you're changing it.

Honeymoon Album!

We interrupt your not-so regularly scheduled Honeymoon recaps with an announcement that we purchased the album, and YOU can see it below. On a slightly related note, the professional album came in a few weeks ago and it's phenomenal! Erica Ewing was a gem and we're blessed she was such a vital part of our most special day!

Click here to view this photo book larger

Shutterfly photo books offer a variety of layouts and cover options to choose from.

The (Unabridged) Ceremony

Several people have asked for one or more parts of the wedding ceremony, and I like to please my friends and loved ones, so here is the ceremony in it's entirety; enjoy!

Welcome

Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court--2003 
"Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support.

Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition. It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry one is excluded from the full range of human experience."

Apache Wedding Blessing 
(this is not authentic, it was created for a book and movie, but we love the sentiment)

Now you will feel no storms,
for each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness,
for each of you is companion to the other.
You are two persons,
but there is one life before you, and one home.
Turn together to look at the road you traveled,
to reach this---the hour of your happiness.
It stretches behind you into the past.
Look to the future that lies ahead.
A long and winding, adventure-filled road,
whose every turn means discovery,
new hopes, new joys, new laughter,
and a few shared tears.
May happiness be your companion,
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead;
And through all the years to come.
Go this day to your dwelling place
and enter into your days together.
May your days be good and long upon the earth.

Plato’s Symposium
Humans have never understood the power of Love, for if they had they would surely have built noble temples and altars and offered solemn sacrifices; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done, since Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy.

To understand the power of Love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, but different. Human beings each had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. There were three genders then: one comprised of two men called the children of the Sun, one made of two women called the children of the Earth, and a third made of a man and a woman, called the children of the Moon. Due to the power and might of these original humans, the Gods began to fear that their reign might be threatened. They sought for a way to end the humans’ insolence without destroying them.

It was at this point that Zeus divided the humans in half. After the division, the two parts of each desiring their other half came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of humankind.

Each of us when separated, having one side only, is but the indenture of a person, and we are always looking for our other half. Those whose original nature lies with the children of the Sun are men who are drawn to other men, those from the children of the Earth are women who love other women, and those from the children of the Moon are men and women drawn to one another. And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love.

Hearth Lighting
In ancient Greece, the hearth was the center of the home. To symbolize this in the modern home, Jessi and Ellie have had an oil lamp created. 

Carrie & Karina carried lanterns in place of the torches traditionally carried by the bride and groom’s mothers. I would like to ask them to light the oil lamp from their candles to represent Jessi and Ellie’s lives joining together into a single home.

Vows
Ellie 
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving than this

So, Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Love me, that’s all I ask of you

We have each other for the ups and downs
And for the days of doubt
And when we have lost our way
There are no words left to say.

I’ll be there and I’ll cover you

It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How Wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

Jessi
I sometimes have a feeling with regard to you--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.

I have for the first time found what I can truly love – I have found you. You are my sympathy – my better self — my good angel — I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my center and spring of life, wraps my existence about you—and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.
Jane Eyre—Charlotte Bronte

Ring Exchange
I take you to be part of my superhero league to fight crime,
One schizophrenic and college student at a time.
Together we’re stronger than either one alone.
Our powers combined will never allow
Harmful villains into our home.
Let this ring serve as a reminder of our vow.

Celtic Wedding Blessing 
May you both be blessed with the strength of heaven,
The light of the sun and the radiance of the moon
The splendor of fire, the speed of lightning,
The swiftness of wind, the depth of the sea,
The stability of Earth and the firmness of rock.

Honeymoon Day 3: Glowworms and New Friends Oh My!

*this series is back-dated, so is written as though we are in Turks & Caicos*

This morning, we woke to the Excursion Desk cancelling the Glowworm Cruise for tonight, but they were looking into getting us onto another boat. It's like we'd barely hung up (but maybe we just fell back asleep) before they were calling back with a company name and time to meet them on the beach!

Ellie made pancakes and coffee, which we enjoyed on the balcony as we planned our day. We decided to keep it quiet as we waited for the cruise.

We walked down to the beach, stopping at the Excursion Desk (I think we're going to either become their best friends or mortal enemies!) where we booked our Pony Ride and (wait for it...) Full-Day Cruise/Snorkel/BBQ Excursion for Thursday and Tuesday.

The water is gorgeous; a color blue you only see in pictures--or when you go to a tropical island. We basically hung out, alternating between lounging in the water on pool noddles or lounging on the beach. Rain came through a couple times, but it wasn't intolerable, and each bout went by quickly. At lunchtime, we just went back to the room and made quesadillas as we got ready for the cruise.

As we waited for the beach, we started chatting with Pete & Barb, another couple who seemed just as lost as were felt. They were a little older than us, and are enjoying his parents' timeshare. They'd been here once before 8 years ago and remembered enjoying the Glow Worm cruise then, so decided to go again. It was nice to hear from real people that the cruise was a good--can't always trust those website reviews!! Another couple was waiting for the same trip, but they weren't friendly at all.

Turns out we were put on a party boat--lots of really loud music and if the crew wasn't totally loaded, they were drinking vicariously through us since they were practically begging everyone to drink the rum punch! We kept ourselves at just a few cups though, didn't want to get sloppy in the middle of the water :D The glow worms were actually pretty cool--the females left glowing egg trails, and the males were glowing bursts. Unfortunately, they were too quick to catch on the camera, but we DID catch a couple on video, so we're counting that as a definite win! Barb compared them to fireflies in the water, which is really apt.

Oddly, we weren't brought back to our hotel beaches as we'd been lead to believe by the Excursion Desk. The crew suddenly docked at a seemingly lonely building and herded us into taxis. Honestly, we were all a little nervous as the boat was docking, and didn't REALLY trust it until people started getting dropped off...and then the fear only mildly eased LOL. As we approached the Grace Bay Club (another hotel), Barb and Pete suddenly invited us for drinks at Infiniti Bar. Of course we accepted. Infiniti Bar is both the longest bar in the Caribbean AND the first infinity-edge bar in the world. It's pretty cool, solid black bar with blue light strings set in the middle. We all chatted and joked for about an hour; it was nice to have actual conversations with people other than each other after 3 days. 

I started to talk about Fluffy & the growing popularity of hedgies when all of a sudden, Pete realized he didn't have his wallet, and they were absolutely without any cash!! It was actually a super funny situation, he hadn't thought he'd need his wallet on the cruise, so Ellie graciously paid because it was just such a hilarious situation, and what else could we have done (although in all seriousness, we could have just stood up and walked off into the night of the beach and never looked back; but that's not how we roll)? The poor things were incredibly embarrassed, which I KNOW we'd have felt the same way. It was sweet how profusely they apologized. We used "honeymoon money" as a means of making them feel better.

We walked back along the beach, which was beautiful and moonlit; the kind people post about in their online dating profiles. When we arrived back at The Sands, Barb & Pete invited us for a nightcap at Hemingway's to pay us back since they didn't need cash there ;). We're glad we met them, they're a nice couple. And they've given us a hilarious story for when we get home!

Honeymoon Day 2: Exploring Providenciales

*this series is back-dated, so is written as though we are in Turks & Caicos*

Click here to view these pictures larger

We woke up this morning and had coffee, clementines and granola bars for breakfast (yup, living large!), then walked down to the Excursion Desk to get the details for our Glow Worm Cruise. Alas, it's the slow season and they didn't have enough reservations, so we're going to have to wait until Wednesday or Thursday; they're going to keep in touch.

Since we have a full kitchen and don't want to go totally overboard, we get a map of the island from the Concierge and walked to the grocery store--it was only a mile and a half, and the prices and selection were definitely better than the hotel convenience store. Don't get me wrong, the prices weren't GOOD, but when you consider a gallon of water was $2 at the grocery, and $5 at the hotel, we made the right choice. We just picked up some basics: pancake mix, some eggs, fruit, water and snacks. Something we both found really interesting was that there was a TON of gluten-free stuff, way more than I see in regular grocery stores back home. Maybe this isn't the "regular" grocery, but maybe a gourmet grocery to cater to the fancy-ass tourists?

It's HOT!! We barely went halfway before I knew I NEEDED to buy a hat. We went through a whole bottle of Gatorade on the walk down and another one on the way back; we were both covered in sweat (sexy, I know). The heat is definitely going to be difficult to live with the next 8 days.

It was awesome to get back to the air conditioned room and have leftovers from last night. After lunch, we went to the beach for a while. The sand is smooth and white, the water is clear and refreshing. As long as I don't have the crap burned out of me, I'm going to enjoy spending time here. It's like nothing I've ever seen.

Tuesday nights are the Manager's Rum Punch Party, so we went back to the room to get dressed for the party and dinner. It seemed like most of the current guests were there; the food and booze (rum punch and beer) were flowing. We think one of the employees is "family"--she complimented my rainbow earrings a little more enthusiastically than a straight person would. ;) The funniest part of the party came from another guest. This guy started yelling at one of the servers, really flipping out on the poor guy, because he "only came around this side of the pool once with conch fritters--the other side got them 3 or 4 times!! WAAAAHHHH, I'm a fat dude who can't be satisfied with only 3 fritters!!!" (okay, that last sentence might be putting words in his mouth, but it's true). The poor server was totally flustered, trying to explain that the multiple trips were because he could only carry so many plates at a time. Ellie and I tried to back him up, but Angry Dude wasn't having it. He even wound up throwing his empty plate on the trash cart as the server walked by. It was amusing, annoying, and sad.

For dinner, we went to Yoshi for sushi. (yes, the same restaurant that prompted the couple from yesterday to discover their mutual love for sushi). Their menus were on iPads, which was super cool--I think that's something more restaurants should contemplate. If we could have ordered through them, that would have been amazing! The walk back to the hotel was pretty quiet--maybe it's due to being the off-season, but everything closes early; by the time we were done at 7, everything was closed. Kind of disappointing. So we went back to the room and watched some TV and read before turning in.

Honeymoon Day 1: We Arrive

*this series is back-dated, so is written as though we are in Turks & Caicos*

Waking early, before the MBTA began running this morning, we were fortunate enough to get a ride from a friend. The flight to Miami was pretty turbulent, but not terrible. With a 2-hour layover, we went to Jose Cuervo Taquileria for tacos and our first official drinks of the honeymoon: Dos Equis.

The flight to TCI was short and easy. Providenciales is literally the smallest airport I've ever seen! Not only do you walk off the plane using stairs (which I've done once before in Iceland), but they only have one baggage claim carousel. We didn't have to crowd around the carousel because some of the employees were pulling bags off of it & grouping them around the claim area; made the process a little easier.

Customs wasn't too bad, and became the source of one of the best stories from the trip. We stood behind a couple who weren't talking all that much. As we are wont to do, we speculated what they were doing in TCI: honeymoon? vacation? wedding? We realized they hadn't been together too long when, as the giant advertisement boards flipped to ads for the one sushi restaurant in the country, the guy piped up with, "Oh, that looks good, I love sushi." "Really? I love sushi too! We should go!" Not long after, they were reviewing their Customs forms & Ellie noticed, on the "Why are you here" line, they had listed Honeymoon. *blinkblink* You are on your honeymoon and had no idea that your partner liked sushi? We really wished we ran into them during the trip.

We took a van to the hotel; even after spending time in England, I'm not sure I'll ever get used to being on the wrong side of the road! It is a little more humid than I had hoped; October is the tail end of summer there, so even the breezes are sticky.

Click here to view these pictures larger

The Sands at Grace Bay is where we are making out home for the next 10 days. It's nice, and our room is amazing, with an awesome ocean view. When we got in, we napped for about 2 hours before putting away our things and headed to dinner at Hemingway's, that hotel restaurant. On the way, we explored the grounds some; I can't wait to see it in the daylight. For dinner, we dived right into one of the most common foods on the islands--conch, in the form of conch fritters, followed by ahi tuna and mahi mahi; washed down with Turks Head beer--Ellie had the lager & I had the amber; I see many more in the future! For dessert, rum cake that was so soaked in rum that we felt a little tipsy after!

We knew about the potcakes, but weren't expecting stray cats! One little grey beauty hung around our table all through dinner. Ellie named her Snowflake, and she seemed to like it because she followed us all the way back to our room. She hung outside of our room for a bit, so we went out to pet her a little more; she was super friendly from many interactions with other guests; it was hard leaving her.

We called it an early night and spent the evening reading through the various tourist guides and relaxing before bed.

"it's stupid anyone wouldn't come because you are marrying a girl."

    These warming words were uttered to my sister from her daughter, again reenforcing that children "get it" and are taught hate and judgment.  These words were needed as I look at the upcoming weekend and some obstacles that are going on that are out of our control.
    Obstacle 1.  It might rain.  High chance of some kind of rain off and on through the day.  I will do my best to make sure this wedding takes place outdoors.
     Obstacle 2.  It might be in the low 60 upper 50's.  Honestly the ceremony is only about 20 minutes I think we can get through this, and maybe we just have to be a little closer to other people in the crowd.
    Obstacle 3. All of our nick nacks do not work perfectly.  Oh well, they are just things and that's not why we are getting married.
    Obstacle 4. The whole road is under construction.  We were told about this in June, but was promised it would be done... new estimate end of October... grr.  However, there is a detour that is pretty clearly marked but leave a little extra time if you can.
    Obstacle 5. CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE!!! There is construction on many of the major roads this weekend although most of it is between 10pm and 10am.... traffic in the boston area is some of the WORSE! If you are traveling that day to the hotel aim to be there earlier than 4:30pm.
   
INFORMATION THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL
    People not from the area you are 1.5-2.5 miles from a major shopping mall there are numerous places to eat/shop/entertainment from there.  The hotel is in more of an industrial park area but you are that close to civilization don't feel isolated.
   On Sunday, the brides will be going out to Brunch about 5 miles from the hotel.  It is very casual, anyone is welcome to attend if people want to see us before we head away and Yelp said the place was pretty good.  Who knows we have never been there, we are taking a huge chance.


We are both very excited about the wedding. As I mentioned on Facebook, this is like Christmas to me and I am excited to see how it unfolds.  99 percent of the night we planned, ordered, glued, painted, constructed or designed.  I hope you all have a moment where it is clear how much love Jessi and I share. And you see the love we have for all of the people we invited to this event and most importantly have fun, laugh, talk, mingle, dance badly, cry (except you Ernesto ;-) ), have an extra drink, an extra piece of cake and enjoy the beautiful people we have in our life. 

I like to call it "Encouraging Mingling"

When we have spoken to people about our wedding and we report all in all most things are going smoothly.  They stop, look at us blankly, giggle to themselves and say, "Have you done your seating chart yet?" When we would say no they would laugh and laugh.

Okay it wasn't quite like that but I swear it was similar.  We love our friends and family but where do you sit everyone.  Person A knows this person B, but dislikes this person C who likes person B. You know some crazy math problem like that. Or these 11 people are a great group, but fitting more than 9 adults at a table is tight and can you just take 2 and put them anywhere?  We had two go rounds at the seating chart, Jessi made little stickies and we placed them all over imaginary tables.   It gave us a clue but at that time we were missing a few RSVP.  Which let me tell you can drastically change a table and it did.

So last night before heading out to our last date as legally single, we figured it out.  Especially on my side I set random people together to mingle everyone will know at least one person at their table. If it's not the perfect seating situation, after you are done your dinner get out on the dance floor.  The whole event runs over 5 hours (Ceremony; Cocktail hour and reception) the room is on the smaller side one eats dinner for an hour I hope people can make the best of their tables.  :-) And after the food is done get up and Mingle around the room and then mingle your way on to the dance floor. :-)     
               

11 Days and Counting

Or, How the Wedding is Like a Kid's Toy

Puzzle that took us months to actually assmble

Does everyone have your rooms booked? Your outfits picked out? Are you ready for this *cue stadium-rock music*

All of a sudden, the wedding is upon us! I have a slightly difficult time realizing that this has been two years in the planning, it seems like we've only just started!

It's not exactly panic that I'm feeling, more like overwhelmed; there are too many pieces that all look the same. The finished product is going to be beautiful, but it's a lot more complicated than I thought it would be, much like the puzzle of Neuschwanstein Castle Ellie got for Christmas a couple years ago. It took forever to put together, much longer than she thought. We had to put it away a few times, but none of those puzzle savers they sell were big enough to contain the behemoth. Anyone who has been to the apartment in the last year knows that we have stacks of boxes, and mounds of crafting supplies all over the house. It's a wonder our roommate hasn't bailed or set everything on fire. As we've been digging out the boxes that have been stored in the back entryway, things have gotten worse; you'd think we were moving!

Lesbian cake topper form Etsy

I'm not even (really) worried about the stuff we still have to do. Now I'm more concerned about stupid things like

• "Why do Ellie and I BOTH have a room for two nights listed at the hotel?"
• "Did we give out all the comp rooms yet, or did I do the math wrong and we still have one?"
• "Why did the new coordinator mention an ice sculpture when we met her since we neither ordered it nor have enough room bookings to 'earn' it (and can we turn that into cost & reduce the total owed)?"

I'm also concerned about the things out of our control, like whether the cake will arrive as discussed and on time; if the DJ will actually be any good; whether guest will be springing any last-minute +1's, travel/rooming difficulties, etc on us; just general things that don't actually happen and I have no control over if they do.

That puzzle is now hanging in our living room, right when you get to the top of the stairs, huge and gorgeous, much like the wedding will be.

Well, That Wasn't So Bad...

They made me turn my head, but still wanted
pics of the shirt. So of course Jere grabbed my ass

My friends threw me a Bachelorette Party a few weeks ago, and it was a lot of fun! I was nervous because I've been out on more than one occasion  where the party shows up and the entire place goes numb because they know that a shit show is about to happen--and it does, as girls draped in peni (is that a word? it is now!) act like whores and make everyone uncomfortable.

I knew the night wouldn't be like that, but I wasn't sure just how much fun it would be since I'm not really a club person, and there really isn't much else to do unless you happen to be lucky enough to find a cool drag or burlesque show or something occurring at the same time.

Most of us (the usual suspects congregated at the hotel we were staying at, prepping for dinner and Spot #2. Jere had designed t-shirts for all of us, which was a really nice touch--everyone was a Wingman or a Wingwoman with a funny phrase, like "Yes, she will take a shot" (I need to get the images!!). Of course I got the typical "Single for Tonight" slogan. Ours were WAY cooler than Ellie's!! :p

Dinner was at Beer Works, and two surprise friends from Milford showed up! I honestly wasn't expecting any of the Milford peeps to show since they all live much further (most of them aren't in Milford anymore), and have lives and partners and children. As always, Beer Works was awesome, although I do hate having big groups at a table because I always feel neglectful of people since I can't pay attention to all the conversations happening!  But I was so glad that so many people were able to make it. Don't we all look like were' happy and having fun?

The whole party getting ready to eat!

After dinner we went to Spot #2, the real surprise (Jere and I had discussed the plans, but sometimes things change, so I didn't want to bank on any one thing, and he didn't tell me about the middle plans), Salem Willows for Arcades and carnival food--damn I wish I'd known we were going there, or I'd have had a smaller dinner so I could have gotten something delicious and deep-fried!

I wound up shocking everyone (including myself) when I kicked ass at the arcade games! I admit that I pride myself on doing well with them since those were always my focus when we went to arcades as kids--I knew that I was spending money on the games, so wanted something to show for it!! But that night, I happened to get VERY lucky at the Wheel of fortune machine and hit for 500 tickets on one of my spins!

Look at that stack of tickets at my feet!
They were still dispensing as people kept feeding me quarters!

They just won't stop!!!

Everyone was kind enough to pool their tickets to get me something fun, and Em was ballsy enough to play the "My friend is getting married and we're at her bachelorette party" card. They wound up getting me the most ridiculous coolest pink sequined, light-up cowgirl hat they could find.  Seriously, when Ellie saw it 2 nights ago (I forgot it in someone's car--for real!), she just laughed at me, and she's INTO things like that!

Back at the hotel to freshen up for our Stop #3, we played the Panty Game. I did terribly, but got some really cute panties, which is always a bonus. Alas, those pictures have been lost, probably because the gods had mercy on me and knew those were some of the most awkward photos ever taken of me.

We finished the night at Fran's Place, a club I never thought I'd set foot in after we all graduated. Luckily, it was DEAD for a Saturday night, so we could all comfortably hang out in the back and drink, play those silly bar video games, and shoot some pool. Anna also passed out some BINGO cards to get my loaded; she was successful as I had a rough night when we got back to the hotel and when I got up the next morning. I was really flattered that Liz said I looked way better than she thought I would--I'm fortunate that I pass out before I can get REALLY shattered.

With a final stop at Denny's where I couldn't finish my fried appetizer basket because I was too hungover, Anna brought me home and I slept until Ellie got home from work. I will say that I didn't drink again until Wednesday though, despite going to a bar for the girls' fantasy football draft that Tuesday.

Thanks everyone who were able to make it, it was a night I won't forget for a long time

Thank You!!

About a week before the Shower, we were out and I was all of a sudden hit by the realization that

WE HAVE TO SEND 2 THANK YOU CARDS!!

I don't know why this struck me as such a big thing. I know we'd discussed some ideas for the Wedding thank you's, but it never seemed to dawn on me that we'd have to send separate ones for the Shower (don't even ask, because I have no freaking idea...). We happened to be in Harvard Square that day and decided to look around. (Yes, Ellie TOTALLY thought I knew, considering this was one week before the shower itself). 

Cards are expensive yo.

And most leave something to be desired.

In the 2 different stores, we found some that were tolerable, and some that were amazing, but none that REALLY stood out. I think one of the problems with not really having a theme is that it's difficult to gather all the pieces and make them coherent--maybe we should have just ordered everything from the same company at the same time!!

But we didn't, so have been learning as we go. And when I really stop to think about it, if we had gone that route, I wouldn't have been able to get the most amazing invitations of all time from my co-worker!! I kind of shut down while we were on our hunting excursion, so Ellie did a little CBT and came up with an amazing idea: we would make the thank you's for the Shower and re-evaluate our ambition and desire to do a little more DIY as we got closer or just after the Wedding itself. She knows me so well--this would be a perfect opportunity to get rid of at least a little of the craft stuff we have, and take a good look at our stock to maybe prompt some re-organization or donation (both of which happened).



 Once Ellie got the design down, and we selected the colors/stamps/paper, it wasn't hard at all. I've only made a couple of cards in my life, but Ellie's the resident expert thanks to her Mom, so I let her lead (yes, it WAS difficult). She cut, I folded; she stamped the front, then I stamped the inside while she cut the other pieces.










Something I had never really thought of was using colored pencils to highlight the stamps (I knew Ellie and her mom enhanced their cards, but the how never really clicked). I think I did a halfway okay job with these little flowers.

We even dressed up the envelopes a little bit!

The responses to the cards was really nice, it almost makes me want to make the thank you's for the Wedding too, but I've found some nice ones online and don't know of the energy and cost to make them will outweigh the benefit of showing off our DIY talents.

1.5 Months

That actually sounds better than 43 days (as of this post) for some reason.
I'm a little stressed, but Ellie is keeping me relatively sane. We are slowly getting our DIY projects done (I'm going to say we are about 80% done with all of them), the honeymoon is paid off, and I had my next-to-last dress fitting yesterday.

I was nervous, because I had gained a little weight and she hadn't yet clipped out the seams, so the dress was snug last month. I haven't worked incredibly hard at losing weight, but have been paying more attention to what I'm eating (remember, she said I can't lose a lot of weight because she can't take the dress in too much), and it looked like she clipped at least most of the seams, while leaving just enough to let it out a bit if need be.

I haven't been this happy with my dress since the day I tried it on! There's still a little to finish, like removing the last of the train and the seams and some light finish work, and I need to work on reducing my back just a tad since it's tight in the armholes (she thinks removing the seams will make it perfect). But it looked so good, and I'm so happy with it, I couldn't get over the way it looked. I get to pick it up in about 2-ish weeks, so need to get in touch with Man of Honor Jere about storing it in his place to keep it away from the cats and because I'm afraid to have it in my apartment--not because of Ellie, but because of me looking and playing with it.

Showered With Love--Part II, The Party

Or, "I Don't Deserve My Friends"

The excited Wedding Party,
plus Sister Heidi who helped plan the Shower,
minus Man of Honor Jeremy who had a prior commitment

Get up to speed with Part I...

Traffic was bad, so only about half the attendees were there for the surprise, but people kept arriving. It was amazing how many people showed up: the Wirzburger clan (including the Honorary Wirzburgers) from up and down the mid-Atlantic made the trek up, despite needing to do it again in a few weeks; a bunch of my friends from back home, even the Vermonter, who had to get back to her new home and visiting step-daughter, did the 8-hour round trip! I know that our family and friends love us, but seeing it expressed in this way is hard to take in--I'm not the most accepting of love and support, so it's kind of overwhelming.

Opening the gifts from the Wishing Well

The whole day had a "backyard cook-out" vibe to it--there were no silly games (although now I can see why games are played at these events, I just have a hard time believing there are non-stupid ones out there), everyone was laid back without a lot of the pretense that comes with these things (being in shorts helps!), and it was just what I wanted if I had to have one. The worst part of the whole day? Not being the Hostess--when one is the hostess, she has an excuse to run around and chat with the various groups and generally act a little ADHD. One may find it odd with my social anxiety, but I'd rather HOST a party than be the guest of honor because it lets me take the focus off of myself & place it on my guests. Being Guest of Honor means socializing with everyone without making anyone feel left out--THAT is where my discomfort lies; I always feel like I'm short-changing someone and I hate that. I really do wish I'd been able to spend more time with everyone--I barely spoke with the ladies who were more Ellie's friends than mine, and feel like I short-changed many of my own friends

Enough about my personal insecurities! The girls made an amazing spread, and I can't thank the Fernandes Farm crew enough for all their contributions to food prep, cake/cupcake baking and material loans. Ellie and I haven't had to cook all week thanks to them. Everything about it was so great, from the baseball ticket invitations to the awesome can koozie favors, to the red & white paper lanterns; it was simple yet very well-executed. The coolest part? BASEBALLS instead of a guestbook! I can't wait to get a couple of little display stands for them!

It still amazes me how many people showed up, from so many places, and how generous they all were. The day was a whirl, so I'm looking forward to sitting down and really getting to read the cards and examine the gifts, and write out the Thank Yous. I only hope I can do justice to all the love and kindness everyone showed.

Showered With Love--Part I, The Reveal

Or, "How Ellie Lied to Jessi and Completely Tricked Her"

Can you see the incredulous look on my face?
Yeah, I just figured out  the party was for ME

I knew that Ladies of Honor Carrie & Karina, together with Sister in Law Heidi, were throwing a Shower--this fact had been confirmed time and again despite my protests to everyone that I didn't really want one, nor should they put so much work and effort into something that wasn't very important in the grand scheme of things.

They threw one anyway.

I actually enjoyed it. Other than that whole "opening presents in front of other people" thing. I still feel that is a load of crap and no one actually wants to see the lovely bride open card after card and gift after gift. I have proof this is true!

But onto the day itself. Ellie took the day off, claiming to need a "mental health day" that Mental Health Workers get so few of, and suggested we go somewhere new for a walk; a co-worker had suggested someplace in Weymouth, which turned out to be Webb Memorial State Park. The first thing I do at a place like this is read the bulletin board, which usually has a map and historical information. As we walked toward the park, I noticed a large pavilion with paper lanterns and a bunch of people. Commenting with a cheery "Oh wow, this actually would be a great place to have a party," I blindly kept to the task at hand--taking that walk we had planned before the day got any later, and thus, hotter.

See, Ellie had been dawdling all morning on Saturday. I'm not much of one for getting right out of bed or anything, but I'm also VERY much not one for spending copious amounts of time outside in the heat, which is what we'd have been doing at 12:30. Yet we stopped for breakfast (which was nice--we usually eat our bagels in the car), then putzed around the pet store and Goodwill. it was all I could do to get her moving!

So we're at the park and Ellie starts pulling me away from the board even though she KNOWS I like to read them. I realize she's steering us near the pavilion. I understand her desire to check it out, but there's a party happening, we can't just go spectate on a party! She turns with a doofy smile on her face and says, "Yes, this is a REALLY good place to have a party..."

She can tell you the truth, but I think it took a few more steps and recognizing someone (I can't remember who, it was more noticing familiarity than a genuine recognition) near the pavilion before everything clicked and I realized this was the shower. All of a sudden my eyes began to actually SEE people and come to terms with what was happening, it was all very surreal for a while as I'm trying to act with grace, joy and not let my anxiety completely take over.

Part two is HERE...

Don't Ask Too Much

Source

I was just unintentionally given the best marriage advice. I don't often check G+, but I did today and an acquaintance shared a link with the comment "A great perspective on marriage and how to make it great." So of course I read it.

The entire article can be summed up by this line, "So many marriages fail these days because [we] ask too much of it" (bracket addition mine because I think it was a typo). I've always sought personal validation in my relationships: if I wasn't loved by someone else, I was not lovable; I have to cater to ever interest and whim of my partner or (s)he will stop loving me; I need to hide my personality because I'm not a good person/am weird/am stupid or my partner will realize I am not the right person. Ellie has helped change a lot of that thinking--it's not great (almost 30 years of that kind of thinking cannot be reversed in 4 years). Yes, I have always asked too much of myself, but I also asked too much of my partners.

Ellie and I aren't trying to turn each other into doppelgangers of ourselves. We enjoy each others' company and have many of the same interests, but neither of us feels compelled to enjoy everything about or with the other. I will not eat olives, no matter how many she brings into the house; nor do I have much interest in football--Sundays in the Fall/Winter are a good time to catch up on silly Facebook games or read a book. Ellie doesn't understand why my peanut butter needs to have nuts in it, and I'm fairly confident in saying she doesn't QUITE understand my obsession with finding the perfect pantry organization system (not to mention the perfect organization system for most of the house...). That's okay though, we let the other have at it and humor/participate/keep our mouths shut as appropriate.

We also do this amazing thing called spending quality time with other people! Sometimes I'll take the hour+ ride out to see MOH Jere to watch crappy reality TV. Sometimes she'll make dinner plans with grad school BFF A. It's about taking time to be us as Individual rather than only ever living as us as Couple. I feel that not enough people do that, which is probably one of the biggest lead-ins for relationships not working; if you can't be you sometimes, like if you never occasionally indulge in a sweet, you will eventually snap and EAT. ALL. THE. CAKE!!!!! or find that you've "grown apart" from your partner. I'm not saying this is the only reason for growing apart, or the other horrors that can occur, but I wonder how many people reading this right now aren't getting enough time to just be them (Ellie and I included, because we are far from perfect)?

Why the picture of a tube of toothpaste? From the words of Mr G,

There are two types of people: those who squeeze their toothpaste from the middle, and those who steadfastly believe that you should squeeze it from the end.

I say that each person should get their own tube.

On the Pontoon!!!

Roughly a month ago I was told to go to Ernesto's house on June 29th after work to celebrate my bachelorette party.  I was driving my friend Stephanie to the house but other than a VAGUE understanding of clothes to wear and that Karina, Ernesto and Stephanie would be there I had no idea what to expect.
    So packed with my fancy pants, Roderigo the cone and my cowboy hat I was off.  Well kind of.  Steph and I had a brief stop at CVS which led somehow to animal visors with matching water bottles.  On the way down Steph introduced me to some music that I was not familiar with, one being the song "Pontoon".  This song made me laugh and would become one of the anthems of the weekend. 
   When I arrived at Ernesto's (after a short trip to Target) the room was decorated with balloons (boobs) and streamers.  We had a calm night with a drink and a few stories from the past.  The next morning there was a brunch all home cooked food by Ernesto and Grant.  Friends started to arrive... Bryan and Michelle.  I was given the options of making shirts or wearing pink.  We made shirts and I had to come up with the names to go on them but couldn't know who they would be for...
Mine = Super Dyke (a name i have used to describe myself for many years)
Bryan = Double D's  (he was and has been many times our designated driver)
Michelle = Common Law Wife (Michelle and I lived together for multiple years and joked we were almost common law married)
Ernesto = Unicorn (this needs no explanation)
Stephanie = Mixologist (Steph mixed our morning drinks and has made some "mean" punches and beertinas through our relationship)
Amanda = Ellie's Bitch (I said this out loud and someone said...I know someone that requested that shirt)
Karina = Minion (I love the minions from Despicable ME and for the night I got to have one)
Christine = Love Slave (I guess you weren't gone...;-) inside joke here)
Roderigo = Roderigo (It's his name)
During this time other people arrived, i was given a boa, a cowgirl hat that lite up "BRIDE", plastic gun and sheriff pins.
Christine and Karina arrived and we jumped in the rented SUV car to the first stop...Thomas Hooker Brewery after a tour and maybe a sample or two... stop 2 where Amanda met up with us The Iron Horse here we enjoyed a dinner and front row seats to the Burlesque show ( :-) )and the last stop Divas. 
The night consisted of laughing, drinking, eating, dancing, laughing and bad singing...
The ride home was many great songs like Pontoon and Red Solo Cup.  There was some motor-boating mixed in there too and a lot of pictures.
Next morning another yummy brunch and said our "see ya laters"
It really was a great time and well organized.  I know we were a little slow moving and missed a possible spot or two.  I know that there were a few people that wished they could have been there. But it really was a lot of fun and kept with in my guidelines of my original requests.  It was great to introduce some of my closest friends to each other and it is overwhelming to be reminded that they were all there to celebrate me and my next step in life. 

What's to Eat?

Our choices were the top left and bottom right meals

Now that the invitation are out, we are free to give menu details!! I know you have all been waiting with baited breath to know the outcome of the tasting, and now you do! Alas, we couldn't fit the entire description of each meal on the RSVP card, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to both finish the tasting story AND explain the meals in more detail.

As you may remember, we had to narrow four meals down to two. It was hard, but we had to go with our hearts (and tastebuds!!). While I won't be revealing the appetizer and dessert, I am going to disclose the main meals to maybe make your decisions easier (or harder, as the case may be!!). Ultimately, we have 4 meals to choose from: the two we picked during the tasting, a vegetarian which we did not try or have a choice in, and a children's, which we also did not try or have a choice in.

• Duet of Sirloin with a Green Peppercorn Demi Glaze and Corander Crusted Marinated Chicken with Garlic Ykon Gold mashed potatoes and baby carrots. This dish was so delicious and met our desire to have a chicken option--the chicken-only choice wasn't very good--and we figured people who don't like red meat could just not eat it or swap out with someone who does.
• Mixed Grille of Sirloin and Jonah Crab Stuffed Jumbo Shrimp with Basil Mashed Potatoes & a Seared Tomato. Holy crap was this amazing!! Without question, this was our seafood offering, it was just too delicious to not offer! The neon-green potatoes alone make it worth serving!
• Butternut Squash Ravioli with Vanilla Sage Chestnut Sauce and Shaved Grana Padano Cheese. Vegetarian option they gave us.
• Chicken Fingers with French Fries.  Kid's option

Ellie and I have an unofficial bet to see which of the steak dishes is ordered most, but I don't want to sway anyone's decision, so we'll not talk about that just yet.

It's the Little Things--Which Drive Us Crazy

I was adding this to the invitation post, but it started to take on a life of it's own. There was one detail about the invites that we wonder if people even noticed--the stamps (yes, I am a freak of nature for writing two whole posts about stamps!).

When looking at stamps for the Save the Dates and the upcoming 2012 stamps, we became excited over a few of them. Ellie immediately decided on the Cherry Blossoms--2012 is the 100th anniversary of the gift of trees from Japan, and also happen to be one of my favorite flowers. I pushed back because we're in Boston and DC isn't important to us our our relationship at all and I wasn't sold on the idea off having these landmarks all over my wedding invitations. I wanted the Bonsai Trees or the Year of the Dragon stamps. Ellie wouldn't hear of it because we could match the postcards to the invitations! I still balked because that was an extra $0.13 per postcard and I am a cheapskate. Ellie had a point when she said that Aloha Shirts (the only postcard stamps in existence) were not going on our RSVPs. The postcards are too small to add multiple stamps to make up the difference between the former postcard stamps and the current cost.

You wouldn't think stamping envelopes and postcards would be an ordeal would you? Well, it totally was. See, we had three dilemmas in front of us:

• we needed to make sure that all the cards got one and the envelopes got the other
• we had to keep everything in a particular order so the cards and envelopes matched up
• we have one international invitation and one not being mailed

This necessitated us double-checking that all the envelopes were in the same order as my initial spreadsheet, which was loosely based on last name and family. We set up an assembly line of sorts to work it all out: address and return address the envelopes; number the cards; put the cards into the invitations; organize and RE-organize the envelopes, using sticky flags to mark the special (read: different postage, address errors) invites. 

Wax seals had to wait until the next day when we 1) had time 2) made our corrections.

Invitation Reveal!

This is likely to be a rather anti-climactic post for about 99% of my readers since I only know of one reader who isn't receiving an invite--not because I don't like this person, but because we were high school friends who recently re-connected through Facebook--I'm sure she understands :)

 You may recall the sweet card a co-worker made for me and the other office brides. We all love her work (link to her website) and a few of us were able to hire her to make our invitations. This was an incredibly professional experience: we chatted about Ellie & I, the wedding theme, our interest, inspirations, etc. She welcomed a link to this blog and my Pinterest boards to help with her ideas. When she finally came by my office with the samples, I was floored!!! She had created a design in watercolor, then scanned & printed it onto a few sample invitations, each with different typefaces, layouts and embellishment. The design alone was spectacular, let alone all the details and embellishment options we were offered.

Ultimately, we decided to keep it rather simple in order to really highlight the two key features: the Tree and the Wax Seal. But let me stop chattering and get on with the invite porn!

The invitation suite, from top: labels, sample finished product, invites,
RSVP cards and envelopes--everything was tied up with jute, giving a
really professional feel to the product. 

Andrea hand-painted the envelopes because her printer was giving her troubles! Doesn't the image just make you think of a far off faerie-tale world?

We asked her to add a belly band to the flap side of the invitation to accentuate the wax seal and give it that archaic feel.

This picture does not do the invitation any justice at all. When we were reviewing the samples, I noticed the heart--she hadn't  even realized it when making the original sketches! I will admit that I feel the pocket is a little bare, but none of us could think of something that didn't seem like overkill or out of place.

The piece-d'resistance, the wax seal! When this baby arrived, we did some practice runs that left us very fearful of our luck with the real thing. Luckily Ellie did some research to get some tips which helped, and making the seals on cardstock is MUCH easier and successful than on regular paper.

Stacking the sealed invites because we were terrified of squishing or marring the seals before they completely cooled. Were we a little paranoid? Absolutely! But we didn't want to risk any issues.

The response has been overwhelmingly positive! I am beyond pleased they turned out so well, and am even more excited that people like them.