I like to call it "Encouraging Mingling"

When we have spoken to people about our wedding and we report all in all most things are going smoothly.  They stop, look at us blankly, giggle to themselves and say, "Have you done your seating chart yet?" When we would say no they would laugh and laugh.

Okay it wasn't quite like that but I swear it was similar.  We love our friends and family but where do you sit everyone.  Person A knows this person B, but dislikes this person C who likes person B. You know some crazy math problem like that. Or these 11 people are a great group, but fitting more than 9 adults at a table is tight and can you just take 2 and put them anywhere?  We had two go rounds at the seating chart, Jessi made little stickies and we placed them all over imaginary tables.   It gave us a clue but at that time we were missing a few RSVP.  Which let me tell you can drastically change a table and it did.

So last night before heading out to our last date as legally single, we figured it out.  Especially on my side I set random people together to mingle everyone will know at least one person at their table. If it's not the perfect seating situation, after you are done your dinner get out on the dance floor.  The whole event runs over 5 hours (Ceremony; Cocktail hour and reception) the room is on the smaller side one eats dinner for an hour I hope people can make the best of their tables.  :-) And after the food is done get up and Mingle around the room and then mingle your way on to the dance floor. :-)     
               

Well, That Wasn't So Bad...

They made me turn my head, but still wanted
pics of the shirt. So of course Jere grabbed my ass

My friends threw me a Bachelorette Party a few weeks ago, and it was a lot of fun! I was nervous because I've been out on more than one occasion  where the party shows up and the entire place goes numb because they know that a shit show is about to happen--and it does, as girls draped in peni (is that a word? it is now!) act like whores and make everyone uncomfortable.

I knew the night wouldn't be like that, but I wasn't sure just how much fun it would be since I'm not really a club person, and there really isn't much else to do unless you happen to be lucky enough to find a cool drag or burlesque show or something occurring at the same time.

Most of us (the usual suspects congregated at the hotel we were staying at, prepping for dinner and Spot #2. Jere had designed t-shirts for all of us, which was a really nice touch--everyone was a Wingman or a Wingwoman with a funny phrase, like "Yes, she will take a shot" (I need to get the images!!). Of course I got the typical "Single for Tonight" slogan. Ours were WAY cooler than Ellie's!! :p

Dinner was at Beer Works, and two surprise friends from Milford showed up! I honestly wasn't expecting any of the Milford peeps to show since they all live much further (most of them aren't in Milford anymore), and have lives and partners and children. As always, Beer Works was awesome, although I do hate having big groups at a table because I always feel neglectful of people since I can't pay attention to all the conversations happening!  But I was so glad that so many people were able to make it. Don't we all look like were' happy and having fun?

The whole party getting ready to eat!

After dinner we went to Spot #2, the real surprise (Jere and I had discussed the plans, but sometimes things change, so I didn't want to bank on any one thing, and he didn't tell me about the middle plans), Salem Willows for Arcades and carnival food--damn I wish I'd known we were going there, or I'd have had a smaller dinner so I could have gotten something delicious and deep-fried!

I wound up shocking everyone (including myself) when I kicked ass at the arcade games! I admit that I pride myself on doing well with them since those were always my focus when we went to arcades as kids--I knew that I was spending money on the games, so wanted something to show for it!! But that night, I happened to get VERY lucky at the Wheel of fortune machine and hit for 500 tickets on one of my spins!

Look at that stack of tickets at my feet!
They were still dispensing as people kept feeding me quarters!

They just won't stop!!!

Everyone was kind enough to pool their tickets to get me something fun, and Em was ballsy enough to play the "My friend is getting married and we're at her bachelorette party" card. They wound up getting me the most ridiculous coolest pink sequined, light-up cowgirl hat they could find.  Seriously, when Ellie saw it 2 nights ago (I forgot it in someone's car--for real!), she just laughed at me, and she's INTO things like that!

Back at the hotel to freshen up for our Stop #3, we played the Panty Game. I did terribly, but got some really cute panties, which is always a bonus. Alas, those pictures have been lost, probably because the gods had mercy on me and knew those were some of the most awkward photos ever taken of me.

We finished the night at Fran's Place, a club I never thought I'd set foot in after we all graduated. Luckily, it was DEAD for a Saturday night, so we could all comfortably hang out in the back and drink, play those silly bar video games, and shoot some pool. Anna also passed out some BINGO cards to get my loaded; she was successful as I had a rough night when we got back to the hotel and when I got up the next morning. I was really flattered that Liz said I looked way better than she thought I would--I'm fortunate that I pass out before I can get REALLY shattered.

With a final stop at Denny's where I couldn't finish my fried appetizer basket because I was too hungover, Anna brought me home and I slept until Ellie got home from work. I will say that I didn't drink again until Wednesday though, despite going to a bar for the girls' fantasy football draft that Tuesday.

Thanks everyone who were able to make it, it was a night I won't forget for a long time

Thank You!!

About a week before the Shower, we were out and I was all of a sudden hit by the realization that

WE HAVE TO SEND 2 THANK YOU CARDS!!

I don't know why this struck me as such a big thing. I know we'd discussed some ideas for the Wedding thank you's, but it never seemed to dawn on me that we'd have to send separate ones for the Shower (don't even ask, because I have no freaking idea...). We happened to be in Harvard Square that day and decided to look around. (Yes, Ellie TOTALLY thought I knew, considering this was one week before the shower itself). 

Cards are expensive yo.

And most leave something to be desired.

In the 2 different stores, we found some that were tolerable, and some that were amazing, but none that REALLY stood out. I think one of the problems with not really having a theme is that it's difficult to gather all the pieces and make them coherent--maybe we should have just ordered everything from the same company at the same time!!

But we didn't, so have been learning as we go. And when I really stop to think about it, if we had gone that route, I wouldn't have been able to get the most amazing invitations of all time from my co-worker!! I kind of shut down while we were on our hunting excursion, so Ellie did a little CBT and came up with an amazing idea: we would make the thank you's for the Shower and re-evaluate our ambition and desire to do a little more DIY as we got closer or just after the Wedding itself. She knows me so well--this would be a perfect opportunity to get rid of at least a little of the craft stuff we have, and take a good look at our stock to maybe prompt some re-organization or donation (both of which happened).



 Once Ellie got the design down, and we selected the colors/stamps/paper, it wasn't hard at all. I've only made a couple of cards in my life, but Ellie's the resident expert thanks to her Mom, so I let her lead (yes, it WAS difficult). She cut, I folded; she stamped the front, then I stamped the inside while she cut the other pieces.










Something I had never really thought of was using colored pencils to highlight the stamps (I knew Ellie and her mom enhanced their cards, but the how never really clicked). I think I did a halfway okay job with these little flowers.

We even dressed up the envelopes a little bit!

The responses to the cards was really nice, it almost makes me want to make the thank you's for the Wedding too, but I've found some nice ones online and don't know of the energy and cost to make them will outweigh the benefit of showing off our DIY talents.

Showered With Love--Part II, The Party

Or, "I Don't Deserve My Friends"

The excited Wedding Party,
plus Sister Heidi who helped plan the Shower,
minus Man of Honor Jeremy who had a prior commitment

Get up to speed with Part I...

Traffic was bad, so only about half the attendees were there for the surprise, but people kept arriving. It was amazing how many people showed up: the Wirzburger clan (including the Honorary Wirzburgers) from up and down the mid-Atlantic made the trek up, despite needing to do it again in a few weeks; a bunch of my friends from back home, even the Vermonter, who had to get back to her new home and visiting step-daughter, did the 8-hour round trip! I know that our family and friends love us, but seeing it expressed in this way is hard to take in--I'm not the most accepting of love and support, so it's kind of overwhelming.

Opening the gifts from the Wishing Well

The whole day had a "backyard cook-out" vibe to it--there were no silly games (although now I can see why games are played at these events, I just have a hard time believing there are non-stupid ones out there), everyone was laid back without a lot of the pretense that comes with these things (being in shorts helps!), and it was just what I wanted if I had to have one. The worst part of the whole day? Not being the Hostess--when one is the hostess, she has an excuse to run around and chat with the various groups and generally act a little ADHD. One may find it odd with my social anxiety, but I'd rather HOST a party than be the guest of honor because it lets me take the focus off of myself & place it on my guests. Being Guest of Honor means socializing with everyone without making anyone feel left out--THAT is where my discomfort lies; I always feel like I'm short-changing someone and I hate that. I really do wish I'd been able to spend more time with everyone--I barely spoke with the ladies who were more Ellie's friends than mine, and feel like I short-changed many of my own friends

Enough about my personal insecurities! The girls made an amazing spread, and I can't thank the Fernandes Farm crew enough for all their contributions to food prep, cake/cupcake baking and material loans. Ellie and I haven't had to cook all week thanks to them. Everything about it was so great, from the baseball ticket invitations to the awesome can koozie favors, to the red & white paper lanterns; it was simple yet very well-executed. The coolest part? BASEBALLS instead of a guestbook! I can't wait to get a couple of little display stands for them!

It still amazes me how many people showed up, from so many places, and how generous they all were. The day was a whirl, so I'm looking forward to sitting down and really getting to read the cards and examine the gifts, and write out the Thank Yous. I only hope I can do justice to all the love and kindness everyone showed.

Showered With Love--Part I, The Reveal

Or, "How Ellie Lied to Jessi and Completely Tricked Her"

Can you see the incredulous look on my face?
Yeah, I just figured out  the party was for ME

I knew that Ladies of Honor Carrie & Karina, together with Sister in Law Heidi, were throwing a Shower--this fact had been confirmed time and again despite my protests to everyone that I didn't really want one, nor should they put so much work and effort into something that wasn't very important in the grand scheme of things.

They threw one anyway.

I actually enjoyed it. Other than that whole "opening presents in front of other people" thing. I still feel that is a load of crap and no one actually wants to see the lovely bride open card after card and gift after gift. I have proof this is true!

But onto the day itself. Ellie took the day off, claiming to need a "mental health day" that Mental Health Workers get so few of, and suggested we go somewhere new for a walk; a co-worker had suggested someplace in Weymouth, which turned out to be Webb Memorial State Park. The first thing I do at a place like this is read the bulletin board, which usually has a map and historical information. As we walked toward the park, I noticed a large pavilion with paper lanterns and a bunch of people. Commenting with a cheery "Oh wow, this actually would be a great place to have a party," I blindly kept to the task at hand--taking that walk we had planned before the day got any later, and thus, hotter.

See, Ellie had been dawdling all morning on Saturday. I'm not much of one for getting right out of bed or anything, but I'm also VERY much not one for spending copious amounts of time outside in the heat, which is what we'd have been doing at 12:30. Yet we stopped for breakfast (which was nice--we usually eat our bagels in the car), then putzed around the pet store and Goodwill. it was all I could do to get her moving!

So we're at the park and Ellie starts pulling me away from the board even though she KNOWS I like to read them. I realize she's steering us near the pavilion. I understand her desire to check it out, but there's a party happening, we can't just go spectate on a party! She turns with a doofy smile on her face and says, "Yes, this is a REALLY good place to have a party..."

She can tell you the truth, but I think it took a few more steps and recognizing someone (I can't remember who, it was more noticing familiarity than a genuine recognition) near the pavilion before everything clicked and I realized this was the shower. All of a sudden my eyes began to actually SEE people and come to terms with what was happening, it was all very surreal for a while as I'm trying to act with grace, joy and not let my anxiety completely take over.

Part two is HERE...

On the Pontoon!!!

Roughly a month ago I was told to go to Ernesto's house on June 29th after work to celebrate my bachelorette party.  I was driving my friend Stephanie to the house but other than a VAGUE understanding of clothes to wear and that Karina, Ernesto and Stephanie would be there I had no idea what to expect.
    So packed with my fancy pants, Roderigo the cone and my cowboy hat I was off.  Well kind of.  Steph and I had a brief stop at CVS which led somehow to animal visors with matching water bottles.  On the way down Steph introduced me to some music that I was not familiar with, one being the song "Pontoon".  This song made me laugh and would become one of the anthems of the weekend. 
   When I arrived at Ernesto's (after a short trip to Target) the room was decorated with balloons (boobs) and streamers.  We had a calm night with a drink and a few stories from the past.  The next morning there was a brunch all home cooked food by Ernesto and Grant.  Friends started to arrive... Bryan and Michelle.  I was given the options of making shirts or wearing pink.  We made shirts and I had to come up with the names to go on them but couldn't know who they would be for...
Mine = Super Dyke (a name i have used to describe myself for many years)
Bryan = Double D's  (he was and has been many times our designated driver)
Michelle = Common Law Wife (Michelle and I lived together for multiple years and joked we were almost common law married)
Ernesto = Unicorn (this needs no explanation)
Stephanie = Mixologist (Steph mixed our morning drinks and has made some "mean" punches and beertinas through our relationship)
Amanda = Ellie's Bitch (I said this out loud and someone said...I know someone that requested that shirt)
Karina = Minion (I love the minions from Despicable ME and for the night I got to have one)
Christine = Love Slave (I guess you weren't gone...;-) inside joke here)
Roderigo = Roderigo (It's his name)
During this time other people arrived, i was given a boa, a cowgirl hat that lite up "BRIDE", plastic gun and sheriff pins.
Christine and Karina arrived and we jumped in the rented SUV car to the first stop...Thomas Hooker Brewery after a tour and maybe a sample or two... stop 2 where Amanda met up with us The Iron Horse here we enjoyed a dinner and front row seats to the Burlesque show ( :-) )and the last stop Divas. 
The night consisted of laughing, drinking, eating, dancing, laughing and bad singing...
The ride home was many great songs like Pontoon and Red Solo Cup.  There was some motor-boating mixed in there too and a lot of pictures.
Next morning another yummy brunch and said our "see ya laters"
It really was a great time and well organized.  I know we were a little slow moving and missed a possible spot or two.  I know that there were a few people that wished they could have been there. But it really was a lot of fun and kept with in my guidelines of my original requests.  It was great to introduce some of my closest friends to each other and it is overwhelming to be reminded that they were all there to celebrate me and my next step in life. 

It's the Little Things--Which Drive Us Crazy

I was adding this to the invitation post, but it started to take on a life of it's own. There was one detail about the invites that we wonder if people even noticed--the stamps (yes, I am a freak of nature for writing two whole posts about stamps!).

When looking at stamps for the Save the Dates and the upcoming 2012 stamps, we became excited over a few of them. Ellie immediately decided on the Cherry Blossoms--2012 is the 100th anniversary of the gift of trees from Japan, and also happen to be one of my favorite flowers. I pushed back because we're in Boston and DC isn't important to us our our relationship at all and I wasn't sold on the idea off having these landmarks all over my wedding invitations. I wanted the Bonsai Trees or the Year of the Dragon stamps. Ellie wouldn't hear of it because we could match the postcards to the invitations! I still balked because that was an extra $0.13 per postcard and I am a cheapskate. Ellie had a point when she said that Aloha Shirts (the only postcard stamps in existence) were not going on our RSVPs. The postcards are too small to add multiple stamps to make up the difference between the former postcard stamps and the current cost.

You wouldn't think stamping envelopes and postcards would be an ordeal would you? Well, it totally was. See, we had three dilemmas in front of us:

• we needed to make sure that all the cards got one and the envelopes got the other
• we had to keep everything in a particular order so the cards and envelopes matched up
• we have one international invitation and one not being mailed

This necessitated us double-checking that all the envelopes were in the same order as my initial spreadsheet, which was loosely based on last name and family. We set up an assembly line of sorts to work it all out: address and return address the envelopes; number the cards; put the cards into the invitations; organize and RE-organize the envelopes, using sticky flags to mark the special (read: different postage, address errors) invites. 

Wax seals had to wait until the next day when we 1) had time 2) made our corrections.

Invitation Reveal!

This is likely to be a rather anti-climactic post for about 99% of my readers since I only know of one reader who isn't receiving an invite--not because I don't like this person, but because we were high school friends who recently re-connected through Facebook--I'm sure she understands :)

 You may recall the sweet card a co-worker made for me and the other office brides. We all love her work (link to her website) and a few of us were able to hire her to make our invitations. This was an incredibly professional experience: we chatted about Ellie & I, the wedding theme, our interest, inspirations, etc. She welcomed a link to this blog and my Pinterest boards to help with her ideas. When she finally came by my office with the samples, I was floored!!! She had created a design in watercolor, then scanned & printed it onto a few sample invitations, each with different typefaces, layouts and embellishment. The design alone was spectacular, let alone all the details and embellishment options we were offered.

Ultimately, we decided to keep it rather simple in order to really highlight the two key features: the Tree and the Wax Seal. But let me stop chattering and get on with the invite porn!

The invitation suite, from top: labels, sample finished product, invites,
RSVP cards and envelopes--everything was tied up with jute, giving a
really professional feel to the product. 

Andrea hand-painted the envelopes because her printer was giving her troubles! Doesn't the image just make you think of a far off faerie-tale world?

We asked her to add a belly band to the flap side of the invitation to accentuate the wax seal and give it that archaic feel.

This picture does not do the invitation any justice at all. When we were reviewing the samples, I noticed the heart--she hadn't  even realized it when making the original sketches! I will admit that I feel the pocket is a little bare, but none of us could think of something that didn't seem like overkill or out of place.

The piece-d'resistance, the wax seal! When this baby arrived, we did some practice runs that left us very fearful of our luck with the real thing. Luckily Ellie did some research to get some tips which helped, and making the seals on cardstock is MUCH easier and successful than on regular paper.

Stacking the sealed invites because we were terrified of squishing or marring the seals before they completely cooled. Were we a little paranoid? Absolutely! But we didn't want to risk any issues.

The response has been overwhelmingly positive! I am beyond pleased they turned out so well, and am even more excited that people like them. 

Food, Glorious Food!

Considering it's been almost a month since the dinner tasting, and we are going for the cake tasting tonight, it's probably about time I made the FOOD post. Warning, this post is photo-heavy (remember to click the pics to see them full-size) and extremely delicious!

Joined by the lovely Karina, Ellie's lady of Honor extraordinaire, and Danielle, who graciously accepted our offer to join us as an honorary Person of Honor (wow, that's awkward to say!). What we saw upon our arrival in the tasting room was pretty impressive:

Okay, this was actually the "sample table" where we go to see and choose the napkin fold and table number. I didn't get a shot of the "eating table" before we dug in, but it was very similar , only with more place settings, no plates, and an extra wine glass (we each got a glass of the house white, the house red and champagne!). Jocelyn, the event coordinator, sat with the four of us to go over details like those on the "sample table," centerpieces, timing, etc, and generally make sure we were all on the same page.

As the food began to arrive, she continued to sit with us to note our selections and answer questions. It was weird to be eating in front of her, and we all kept asking if she was okay--I know she does this all the time, but it was still slightly uncomfortable. Now, so you're up to speed, when we scheduled the tasting, we were asked to select 2 appetizers, 2 salads and 4 entrees (from 7, 6 & 12 options respectively!); we narrowed the field by half during the tasting and our menu (minus the cocktail hour hour d'ourves) was complete. We should have known just from making the initial selection that this would be a lot tougher than we hoped!

First Course: Appetizer



We chose clam chowdah :) and tortellini for the appetizers. Clam chowder is so quintessentially New England, and Ellie's family has a long history of tortellini soup for special occasions, this was the next best thing. Although we each got our own cup of chowder, we split 2 plates of tortellini--we all filled up on the chowder so didn't have room for the tortellini, that's why not much had been eaten in the pic.

Second Course: Salad

Again, we shared two of each salad: caprese & wedge. Honestly, these were the only two that really sounded like something we wanted to eat. I love that the caprese salad wasn't just red tomatoes--that slice of yellow really made the dish pop. Wedge salads are just awesome. You really should try a wedge salad, just saying.

LOL, you can see my wedding notebook in this picture!!




Third Course: Dinner

 Can you tell from this picture that we like red meat? of the four dinners we chose, 3 had some type of steak on them. This decision was actually really grueling because we are both such people pleasers, but also wanted to be happy with our choice. Clockwise from top left:

• Mixed Grille of Petite Filet Mignon and Jonah Crab Stuffed Jumbo Shrimp
• Filet of Beef Tenderloin with Scampi Prawns
• Duet of Sirloin with a Green Peppercorn Demi Glaze and Coriander Crusted Marinated Chicken
• Herb and Panko Crusted Breast of Chicken

They all came with some type of mashed potatoes and a veggie. I mean, seriously, holy crap these all look amazing, don't they? They tasted just as amazing, trust me. The four of us each took a plate and passed them around. I'm pretty sure we passed some of them more than once. :D We definitely hemmed and hawed about the merits of each, and what we did & didn't like. As she listened, Jocelyn shot out some options that allowed Ellie and I to make the most of the menu and hopefully please almost everyone. I know some people will bitch, but really? they would probably bitch no matter what we served.

Final Course: Dessert

Yes, the dessert will actually be our cake, but Doubletree adds a chocolate covered strawberry or an ice cream bonbon with it. How awesome, right?

The near plates in this picture are how the plate will look with either a bonbon or strawberry (imagine a delicious piece of cake between the whipped cream swirls). The far plate is just a dish of strawberries, the plate of bonbons was already being passed around.

Both were absolutely amazing, but it was really a no-brainer to be honest.

This was the aftermath (we totally housed the desserts). I almost wish we hadn't had breakfast, no matter how light, beforehand because that was a LOT of food! It's so wonderful to know that we and our guests are going to be treated so well. All the food is made in-house by the same chef who runs Bistro 44, which is in the hotel, who prides himself on only serving food that is sourced from within 44 miles of the hotel. That's harder to do when cooking for a wedding, but knowing there is an effort is nice.

I'm not going to reveal our choices until after the invites go out (about 2-3 weeks, I promise!!) to not ruin the surprise, but I plan to post a full description of each meal so guests have a better idea of what they are selecting for dinner. Everything else remains a surprise (I think...we'll see if I can hold back!).

Vacation???

So we know a lot of our guests are coming from out of state.  Some will be flying and many will be driving.  Some of you might take a few extra days off so we have added a tab of things to do while in Massachusetts.  With that being said Boston has a plethra of things to do, musuems, concerts, historical landmarks etc.  However, we wanted to write down a few other options for people to look into to have more things to do while in the area.  Also if anyone is driving and want some places to hit from point A to point B I might have some ideas, some either free or cheap places.  I will be adding some more places on the list as I think of them but I thought this was a good place to start check back often. :-)

The moment you have all been waiting for!!!

No, not our wedding, we still have 3.5 months before that. But people can officially reserve their hotel rooms. We have rooms blocked off for our wedding. Which just means they will guarantee X amount of rooms on Friday to Saturday and X amount of rooms Saturday to Sunday. I thought there was a discounted price but I am not 100 percent sure but one needs to call. (781.275.5500) There should be 2 weddings taking place that day at this location. All you need to do is call and give the name Robinson or Wirzburger as the wedding you are attending. It does also help us out if you do this. After so many rooms rented we get "free" things added to our package so if you are planning to stay anyway please link our name to it. :-) Also for those who think they should have received an invite... They HAVE NOT been sent out yet. We are having a plated dinner and we just chose the food choices on Thursday. If things go as planned we will be sending them out at the end of this month. :-) I hope I cleared some of this up. :-)

How Sweet It Is

My office is bride central. 4 of us are getting married this year, in July, August and September. We keep each other updated and have been able to share ideas. Two of our co-workers lovelovelove weddings, so are always asking about our planning, which keeps us on top of things.

This is NOT the invitation!! This is a congratulations card
from the woman making out invitations!!!

This morning, the office hosted a breakfast celebration for us, which was very sweet. I'll be honest that I was glad it's summer so there weren't many people in attendance--less pressure to be "on". It was however, nice to chat about the wedding without eyes glazing over in disinterest, as happens more often than you may think when being asked "So, how's wedding planning coming along?"People seemed genuinely interested and were helpful with advice.

One of the Department heads gave us each a cute glass jar with an iris and a hand-made congratulation card. As you can see in the picture, this wasn't something just thrown together, each was hand drawn and painted by a co-worker who is an aspiring artist. Isn't that the cutest little picture of the two of us? Andrea didn't even know that Ellie always has her hair in a ponytail, but I love that she caught that detail! Not that long ago, when she asked what we were wearing, I thought it was to help her get a better idea of us as a couple for the invitations.

Yes, you read that right. In fact, Andrea has been hired by three of us in the office to create invitations (the 4th wanted to hire Andrea, but had promised her future mother-in-law she could do them; it was too late to rescind the offer)! If you go through her website, you can see one set of invites; I'm not sure if the other will go up. Once our invites are done and mailed at the end of July, I'll have her post ours--I can't wait to see what she comes up with for us.

It's nice to feel so supported by my office and colleagues. This may not be the last or best job I ever have, but it won't be the worst; the people I work with make it a good place to be.

The Heart Warming Stories.

Through the last few months it has been awesome to hear stories that have stemmed from our upcoming wedding. I thought I would share a few of them.

CRUISE??? Our friend J lives with her parents. I have only met the parents in passing once and Jessi knows them but that's where that line seems to end. Anyway. J's parents were trying to plan an upcoming cruise. Mom asked the Dad how about a cruise in September. The Dad reported no they can't because they have a wedding. Mom inquired what wedding and the Dad reported the one's on the fridge. Over to the fridge they go. Mom goes "that's not our wedding that save the date is for our daughter's friend..." at least the save the date worked for someone.

It's Only Logical My niece and nephews were not told about our engagement for some time. One of the big reasons was because a 2 year engagement for children seem like eternity. But also because they hadn't quite put together Jessi plus Ellie equals relationship. My sister wanted to tell all three and answer any questions that came along with it. My sister sat them down and informed them that Aunt Ellie was getting married. One of them inquired if it was to Ernesto... after debunking that Heidi informed them it was to Jessi. Tyler responded that this was great. Then after thought and processing. Justin pipes in "Well it is only logical, they are best friends and they live togeter." Katie, not a hundred percent sure with if this was okay decided to test the water with one of her friends and mention it. Her friend piped up and reports that she too had an aunt who married a girl. Katie felt relieved that this wasn't so weird. Justin went into school and during "Share time" told his whole class about our wedding and how it's legal in MA.

A Castle??? One of our friend's daughters saw the save the date... First question, "Are they getting married in a castle?" Yes many people have asked us that and the castle was used in our save the dates due to the significant castles and time period has had in our relationship. But hearing about this little girls excitment around this kind of made me want to run out and book our wedding at a castle.

I am sure I am missing some awesome stories that have been sparked by our wedding. Feel free to share. But I wanted to get these down so I can reflect on them in the future. :-)

Of Dinosaurs and Petting Zoos

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I have no other category for this post than "Humor?" How are Dinosaurs and Petting Zoos related to the wedding? Well, they aren't really--and I have no idea where I'm going with this, but my loved ones asked, so here goes (remind me to never ask questions on Facebook again).

Something that has struck me as I read my favorite wedding blogs (particularly Offbeat Bride and Weddingbee) is just how creative some couples are in choosing their venue. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVELOVELOVE The Doubletree, and it has unique elements that make it perfectly suited for our wants and need, but no one will ever say it's creative. And some of the venue ideas that other brides are talking about are completely ridiculous (like having a "Camping Weekend" wedding  at the wrong time of year AND in fancy clothes) or just aren't suited to us and our needs (like a family member's backyard garden).

This whole thing started when I asked on Facebook what people wanted me to write about because I was bored at work. The conversation QUICKLY descended into anarchy and here we are. When I started this post almost an hour ago, I started by searching "dinosaur petting zoo" on Google--go ahead and click the link, I'll wait (I can't find any non-copyright images). I replied to a comment with "Who DOESN'T like dinosaurs? I wonder if i can get back my venue deposit & move the entire wedding to the Museum of Science?"

Now, for science geeks (which many of our friends and family are), and those with lots of money, the MOS or New England Aquarium would be super cool places to have a wedding!! But Boston is EXPENSIVE (venues, guest accommodations and getting around for out-of-towners), hard to navigate, and couldn't give us the outdoor experience we both so very much wanted.

Then there were the more natural venue ideas, like Nashoba Valley Winery. These types of places, while gorgeous, have limitations--most only have tents or pavilions for seating, which can be problematic in inclement weather--and we're in New England, the chances for inclement weather are pretty good--or they couldn't fit our guest list, or the legwork we'd have to do to get rentals and catering and everything was way more work than either of us wanted to do. There are some zoos in the Metro Boston area, but I never even researched them because I didn't think of them as viable options, but I imagine they would have many of the same limitations as other outdoor venues, with the added stink factor (I don't mind it, but my guests might while they're eating fancy food while wearing fancy clothes). Plus, the best zoo in MA is really too far away from major highways to be convenient--and they don't do weddings anyway (I just looked!).

The third grouping of "unique" venues are museums outside of Boston, estates, things like that. They however have many of the same difficulties with price, workload and location that the others did. Then we thought about a requirement that none of these places had--accommodations for our guests, 70% of whom are coming from out of state. That's a huge number of people that need rooms. The only sensible option for us was a hotel, so that's what we looked at, keeping in mind all of the things we wanted: an outdoor area for the ceremony & guest enjoyment; a dinner/dancing space that had a comfortable feeling, not too big, small or boring; the hotel itself had to look nice but not unfeeling or cold; and a price that was fairly reasonable for us and our guests.

So that's how a request to talk about dinosaurs and petting zoos became a discussion on how Ellie and I came to decide on a hotel as our venue. We've already talked about why we chose Doubletree, but feel free to read it again, especially those of you who are new around here.

A Mom-less Bride

This isn't going to be some crazy overly-sentimental post, but it's something that's bounced around my head lately, maybe because I've been spending too much time reading wedding blogs.

As many of you know, I lost my mom in July to a very short battle with cancer. I'm not going to lie and say that not having her to help me plan is the most devastating thing ever, but it's weird. Lots of brides talk about knowing that their dress is "The One" because mom cried and had a crazy epiphany, offering to buy a dress that was way out of their price range. My mom was in a different state when I chose my dress; partly because I didn't plan to BUY that day (but was "given an offer I couldn't refuse), party because, honestly, I didn't want her there.

OMG! The SHOCK! The HORROR of not wanting your mom with you when trying on your dress or every other little aspect of wedding planning. I'll let you calm down for a second...there, are you okay? Good, let's continue.

My mom was a little dramatic and a little crazy. And that was on good days. I loved my mom, but dealing with her lead to more than one headache over my life, which increased after my brother passed away in 2007. I knew that having her involved in a major way with any of my wedding plans would most likely lead to personal stress and possibly some type of argument or other drama. I had already thought of work-arounds so I could reduce the burden yet still make her happy & feel involved. None of those need to be done anymore, and I can  breathe a sigh of relief yet feel some guilt for that sigh. It's odd being both happy and sad about not having your parent around. My mom loved me as much as her mental illness would allow, never abused me, and wanted to give me more than she was able to with her financial & mental limitations. Sometimes I got angry or frustrated, but I never stopped loving and wanting to give her everything I could. It's awkward to get that look of pity from vendors when you say your mom is no longer around; it's worse when you feel like you don't exactly deserve that pity.

"Be Special in a Good Way"

Someone posted this to one of the forums I read and I HAD to re-post it for all of you. Those Kiwi's are funny folk, that's for sure (link to original article).

So you’ve been invited to a wedding. How lovely! Weddings are beautiful celebrations of the deep, eternal love between two people who have dedicated their lives to each other.

They are also expensive, time-consuming, and absolute etiquette minefields. This article is a brief overview of how not to be a terrible wedding guest.

Sadly, a wedding is not your special day. (Your birthday is your special day.)  A wedding is the couple’s special day, so go along with whatever they ask. Within reason.  

Step One: The Invitation Arrives

After months of arguments over colour scheme (“It is acceptable to match the ink colour of your invitations with the primary colour theme of your wedding”) and font choice, the couple have sent the invitations and yours has arrived!

What do you do with it?

• Reply before the RSVP date. If you don’t RSVP but turn up anyway, no-one will talk to you and you won’t be allowed any food. If you can’t go, you still need to RSVP so the couple can invite someone better instead.
• If the invitation doesn’t include your partner or children, don’t take your partner or children. It seems straightforward, but apparently people mess this up all the time. (The couple get to choose who goes to their wedding… when you get married, you can choose who goes to yours.)
• Don’t be offended if your partner isn’t invited – the couple aren’t intending to shun your new boyfriend, they’re just trying to keep costs to a minimum. Inviting your boyfriend means inviting all the boyfriends.  At $100 a head. 
• Don’t be offended if your children aren’t invited – it’s probably not your specific children that the couple are trying to avoid. It’s more likely that a) the couple want people to feel comfortable drinking; b) the bride is secretly pregnant and worried a crying baby could make her lactate in her gown; or c) the couple plan to sneak off and consummate the marriage in the ornamental gardens, and don’t want to be interrupted by a group of jungle explorers.
• Unless you’re seriously, deathly allergic to something, don’t include your special dietary requirements in the reply (unless there’s a space for you to do so).  There will be a vegetarian option, and if you’re worried about ingredients or preparation check with the caterers on the day. They will understand that cheese makes you a bit gassy. No-one else cares for your ‘mild lactose intolerance’.
• Don’t get offended if you aren’t Important In The Wedding!  The bridal party selection is a diplomatic minefield. Sometimes close friends have to be passed over so that older friends and easily-offended relatives don’t throw a massive wedding tantrum. And that’s okay, because it means when they’re farting about with the photos you can already be at the bar.
• If you have questions about the wedding, don’t ask the bride or groom – they have enough to do without being constantly badgered by guests who want to know if the Number 19 bus stops outside the church. Ask around amongst other guests, or ask the bridal party or the family of the couple.

Step Two: Selecting a Present

• For the love of God, if there is a gift registry, use it. If the couple wanted a wide selection of thoughtfully selected toasters and wine glasses, they wouldn’t have done a registry – and unless you’re a very close friend of the couple, they’re unlikely to appreciate your hand-carved penguin fertility totem. I know a registry feels dumb and impersonal but you can get around that by finding something on the list that has a personal connection:  “I selected the fruit platter because of that hilarious time we had once with a fruit platter.”
• If the couple have a cash option, just give whatever you feel comfortable giving. If you really can’t afford to give anything the couple will understand, but you do still need to give a card.    
• If the gift is a card, cash or voucher, take it to the wedding. Bigger gifts (kitchenware, washing machines) are better posted. If you take a gift, don’t thrust it hurriedly at the couple as they make their way down the aisle – ask someone (not the bride or groom) where to put it. There will be a table set aside specifically for this purpose. 
• Put a card with your gift so the couple know who it’s from. (If you want to get a thank-you note.)

Step Three: Getting Dressed

• “I get dressed every day,” you are thinking, “I’m going to skip this section.” No! Don’t!  Or you will forever be remembered as that person who wore denim on denim.
• The dress code is usually stated on the invite (if it isn’t, ask other guests or dress on the formal side). Once you’ve found out what the dress code is, Google it and wear something within the guidelines.
• Wear something comfortable. Wedding videos are better when you can’t see someone in the fourth row squirming in their seat throughout because their pants are riding up their butt.  
• Keep it classy (ladies). If you’d wear it to a club, don’t wear it to a wedding.
• White dresses are unacceptable, black is frowned upon at more traditional weddings, and camo is right out. (Extra information for people considering camo: comb your mullet! Don’t bring beer.)

Step Four: The Actual Wedding Bit

• Don’t be late! If you are late, don’t scoot up the aisle behind the bride muttering, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” like someone trying to go to the bathroom at the movies. Wait at the back until an usher makes a “Sit down, you tosser” gesture.
• Don’t take photos during the ceremony – partially because it’s distracting, but also because you’re there to share in the ceremony, not play paparazzi. Photos after the ceremony and during the reception are generally fine (unless the invitation says no cameras)… but don’t put any on Facebook until the couple have approved them. 
• Turn off your phone and children. If your children come back on during the ceremony, take them outside.
• It’s traditional not to swear in a church. It’s also traditional not to text, tweet or harvest your FarmVille crops. 
• The ceremony may not be very interesting. Sit quietly and pay attention; think of it as an endurance test (the food and beer at the reception is the reward). Don’t whisper to other guests, don’t giggle at the couple’s self-written vows, don’t wolf-whistle when the bride arrives, don’t make lewd gestures at the bridesmaids.
• If the ceremony is more religious than you are, you don’t have to join in; watch the rest of the audience for cues on when to sit and stand, and be quiet during the religious bits.
• If confetti gets thrown at the couple when they leave the church, don’t throw it in the bride’s eyes.

Step Five: The Reception

• Sit where you’re put. Even if you’re stuck on a singles table full of divorced hairdressers you have to stay there because the couple have spent approximately the length of their engagement working out the seating plan, and if you randomly move then along comes Uncle Maurice and all of a sudden there’s a wedding punch-up.
• If there’s a buffet don’t charge in, grab all the smoked salmon, and then retire smugly to your seat. No-one likes a buffet hog.
• Don’t give a speech unless you’ve been specifically asked to give a speech, no matter how good your speech is. Same goes for toasts. 
• Don’t get significantly drunker than the bridal party. 
• If you’re lucky enough to have slept with the bride or the groom, don’t share this with everyone else at your table. Or anyone.   
• Don’t make song requests! The couple has paid for your food and beer, the least you can do is refrain from inserting ‘Mustang Sally’ into the happiest day of their lives.
• Don’t hog the couple – they are like the smoked salmon, everyone wants to spend some quality time with them.

One of the 10,000 wedding sites I visited while researching this article says, “Only special people are invited to be wedding guests”.  

Be special in a good way.

Read more: http://www.3news.co.nz/Surviving-wedding-season---an-etiquette-guide-for-guests/tabid/420/articleID/241359/Default.aspx#ixzz1l4AIqHhK

Can you tell me how to get... how to get to...

the hotel.

As we have mentioned multiple times we estimate that about half of our guests or more are coming from out of state. And of those half i would guess about half (so a quarter of overall guests) will be flying in. I know through the years I have traveled to a few weddings were I needed to fly into town and then figure out transportation. In fact, there was a wedding I missed because I felt I could afford flying into town but not afford renting the car for 2-3 days, plus the gas, and the hotel etc.

This causes me great anxiety thinking about our guests trying to get to our wedding and possibly not being able to because of the ridiculous prices of transportation. We tried hard to make our wedding location close to Boston for a multitude of reasons. One reason is that Boston has always been a special city for Jessi and I. Two, there are many things to do in Boston if one is going to be in town for more than just our wedding day. Three, being close to Boston allows people to fly in and take some kind of transportation to the hotel. Also all the activities are happening in the same spot to also make it easier so people don't need to figure out how to get from place to place.

I would love for my guests to come together as the day comes closer and talk about any way to help people get from the airport to the hotel. The hotel unfortunately only offers a shuttle for a 5 mile radius and it is possible to take public transit (2 hour commute time) to within .6 miles of the hotel.

It's possible to take Logan express to Woburn (12 dollars per person over 12years old)and then take a Taxi from there which would probably be about an additional $40. Or one could rent a car for about $55 a day.

However, none of this seems like a "cheaper" way to do it. So I hope that some people will fly in on Friday and either me or some of my friends could get you guys to the hotel and the only part one would have to worry about is getting back to the airport. I ask as the time gets closer if one needs help with this 18 mile stretch to contact me. Also if you are particularly bored individual or ever wanted to try out being a Taxi driver let me know and I can help people get in touch with each other to make this less daunting. Needless to say I want you all to find your way to Sesame Street.

Thanks for reading my ramble. :-)

Glowworms: Not Just for Kids Anymore

The Sands Turks & Caicos.
Image from http://www.thesandstc.com

A week ago, we went to AAA to look into 2 things: booking the trip to Turks & Caicos and the registry options they offer. They aren't as fancy as some of the sites I looked into, but they offer 2 things that I haven't been able to find yet: there are NO service charges, and gifts are taken off the cost of the trip This means we don't have to pay out of pocket up front and eventually get reimbursed from the gifts we receive; we pay the remaining balance. We REALLY can't complain about that, can we (unless no one gives us gifts towards the trip that is...you wouldn't do that, right?).

We are spending the 1st two weeks of October at The Sands on Providenciales. After looking at their website, I'm pretty excited! We have a studio with a microwave & refrigerator, which means we can keep some snacks and drinks in the room, thus saving a bit of time & money. They have an excursion desk on site so we don't have to do ten tons of legwork if we chose to do any last-minute excursions (the Glowworm Orgy Cruise and horseback riding trips will be pre-booked), we're on what is pretty much the major island of the chain, and have a bunch of other amenities that makes this the right choice for us.

We're too independent to really want an all-inclusive resort; we seriously considered one to make things easier, but decided pretty early on that we wanted more options. We want this to be the trip of a lifetime, and really be able to take in the islands. It's the main reason we are so focused on the honeymoon registry; every gift we receive towards the hotel/flight allows us to save that much more to put toward exploring the history and culture of the islands. I'm super excited about this! It's the last big thing that needed to be taken care of, and is going to be a very well-deserved rest after all the hustle and bustle of planning this wedding.

BUY US THINGS!!!

Okay, not really, we care more about people showing up than actually getting things. But I know our friends & families--they will want to spend money on us as well as their travel/hotel room/etc.

Image from BB&B

Sunday we started one of our 2 registries, at that bastion of bridal registries, Bed Bath & Beyond. "But wait" you say, "I thought you were registering for your honeymoon??" We are, but haven't found the time or energy to sit down with a travel agent to at least start making tentative plans like hotel and flights in order to better know what we're looking at for a registry. That's not this post though, so you'll have to wait with baited breath to find out more about that.

Personal photo

We've been living together for 3-ish years now (man does time fly!), and have both lived on our own for many more years, which makes the whole concept of registering a little odd to me because we both already have so much of the stuff that a couple would typically register for. As you can see though, Ellie was more than into playing with the little gun! Heck, that picture was taken before we'd moved more than about 10 feet from the registry sign-up area; we'd been at it for less than a minute before we requested that little baby she's scanning.

Yay sharp objects!

Yes, I got in on the action too. If I have learned nothing else from the Food Network, it's that one can never have good enough knives, and everyone should have a carving set! No, I'm not being purposely creep-tastic in this picture, it's just the best one that Ellie took--I'm not all that photogenic.

It's pretty amazing to me that it was so easy! Maybe it's because we tried to be reasonable (other than that $6000 worth of china we selected...) because we kind of want to force people to buy the honeymoon; plus, we're not yet in a permanent living situation, so were hesitant to go crazy when we're not sure what our rooms/storage will look like in a future home. Not to mention we can always have a housewarming registry later on. :P

Some people I've spoken with have asked or mentioned the idea that it's weird to ask people for gifts. In a way it is, but I know that I always (including birthdays & Christmas) feel better buying off of a list or registry than trying to figure out what the person wants/needs. Maybe I'm too practical for my own good though.