Thank You!!

About a week before the Shower, we were out and I was all of a sudden hit by the realization that

WE HAVE TO SEND 2 THANK YOU CARDS!!

I don't know why this struck me as such a big thing. I know we'd discussed some ideas for the Wedding thank you's, but it never seemed to dawn on me that we'd have to send separate ones for the Shower (don't even ask, because I have no freaking idea...). We happened to be in Harvard Square that day and decided to look around. (Yes, Ellie TOTALLY thought I knew, considering this was one week before the shower itself). 

Cards are expensive yo.

And most leave something to be desired.

In the 2 different stores, we found some that were tolerable, and some that were amazing, but none that REALLY stood out. I think one of the problems with not really having a theme is that it's difficult to gather all the pieces and make them coherent--maybe we should have just ordered everything from the same company at the same time!!

But we didn't, so have been learning as we go. And when I really stop to think about it, if we had gone that route, I wouldn't have been able to get the most amazing invitations of all time from my co-worker!! I kind of shut down while we were on our hunting excursion, so Ellie did a little CBT and came up with an amazing idea: we would make the thank you's for the Shower and re-evaluate our ambition and desire to do a little more DIY as we got closer or just after the Wedding itself. She knows me so well--this would be a perfect opportunity to get rid of at least a little of the craft stuff we have, and take a good look at our stock to maybe prompt some re-organization or donation (both of which happened).



 Once Ellie got the design down, and we selected the colors/stamps/paper, it wasn't hard at all. I've only made a couple of cards in my life, but Ellie's the resident expert thanks to her Mom, so I let her lead (yes, it WAS difficult). She cut, I folded; she stamped the front, then I stamped the inside while she cut the other pieces.










Something I had never really thought of was using colored pencils to highlight the stamps (I knew Ellie and her mom enhanced their cards, but the how never really clicked). I think I did a halfway okay job with these little flowers.

We even dressed up the envelopes a little bit!

The responses to the cards was really nice, it almost makes me want to make the thank you's for the Wedding too, but I've found some nice ones online and don't know of the energy and cost to make them will outweigh the benefit of showing off our DIY talents.

ALL. THE. THINGS.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember a post or two discussing the cost of a wedding (and not just for the couple--the female bridal party is expected to spend an arm and a leg too). Having been to a few wedding expos, and reading more than my fair share of wedding blogs/forums/sites, I have been drowning in the "should's" and "trends" that pervade the internet. It's daunting to put it lightly.

Then, I read a post on Weddingbee, (yes, Miss Treasure, I ripped off your title too!) in which the bride-to-bee (pun intended) wrote about her planning experiences and how she is reacting to them,

"My problem with the WIC is that it simultaneously trivializes and exaggerates the act of getting married while barely addressing the subject of marriage at all. [bolding is mine]

The WIC turns the act of getting married into an overblown, theatrical event, minimizing the importance and gravity of the commitment that weddings represent. Have you ever read an article in a bridal magazine about how to maintain a good, loving relationship with your partner for decades to come? Me either. Instead, you get articles like “516 Ways to Wow Your Guests!” and “10 Surprising Beauty Foods: Eat Up Girls!” (These are real headlines from real bridal magazines I have in my apartment right now.) The WIC makes women (and their partners) feel that they have to spend all their money on the perfect dress/ring/shoes/hairstyle, or else they risk offending everyone. The WIC is what makes people look at you a little funny when you say you don’t have wedding colors or you might not do a bouquet/garter toss."

Of course I want the wedding to be wonderful. And I'm obviously not going against any of my personal aesthetic or beliefs to ensure it's "perfect," but it's hard to not be affected.  A LOT of people question my decision to not use flowers, and I had a mini existential crisis about it--I was on the verge of making/buying fake flowers for a while because of it. At the same time, we decided to not go with the photo booth, despite how POPULAR they are right now (and how much we like them) because we couldn't justify the expense to ourselves. You know my current favorite "must" from the WIC? That your dress must be "timeless and classic" so you're not embarrassed in 10, 15, 20 years when you look at your wedding photos. Now, mine probably meets those criteria, but not on purpose--I chose my dress because it was what I LIKED, it met my expectations and desires, and I looked great in it. When I look at my future sister-in-lawss wedding picture, do I sometimes smile because you can tell she got married 10 years ago? Absolutely (sorry Heidi!), but that doesn't mean she's not beautiful or that she regrets her decision (not that I know...). I simply mean that honestly, "timeless and classic" don't actually exist. It comes down to what the couple wants.

We strongly feel that the wedding needs to reflect US, regardless of what everyone else is or isn't supporting. Sure, compromises have been made, but that's part of the beauty of planning a wedding TOGETHER, with your partner.

Infographics are Cool

In light of my previous post, and because I find the WIC fascinating, I'm re-posting this infografic from Mint.com:

Provided by Mint.com <--click to see the full-size version

It's amazing what bridesmaids (not groomsmen mind you, only the women) are supposed to spend for the "priviledge" of being in someone's wedding!!!!! An ex of mine was in a wedding while we were together and it almost ruined her 10-year friendship with the Maid of Honor because no one took into consideration (like the infographic advises) the fact that she made significantly less money than the rest of them, and ignored her pleas to save money on things like the shower and gifts. A current friend is being told that the bachelorette party has to be a weekend cottage in VT, which is going to run upwards of $400/person. WHAT?!?!?! REALLY?!?!?!

I'm so happy that Ellie and I are on a similar page when it comes to the financial burden we're placing on our People of Honor. For me, it's because I'm cheap and can't spend that kind of money, no matter HOW much I love the person, and am putting that onto my friends. For Ellie, I think it's a combination of my reason and because she's been in more than her fair share of weddings, so is personally aware of the potentially daunting cost. Friends, family, don't go into debt because you love the couple. Make it work for your situation and SHOW UP!! That's where the real gift is.

Even STAMPS are a Tough Decision!

You all know how much of a perfectionist I am...I can't even decide on stamps. Do we go with really wedding-y stamps like the one on the left, or something more natural and a little less obviously wedding-related like on the right (each image has the word "Love" written on it)? There are other options for both styles of stamp, as well as some that are completely unrelated to weddings or love, but might fit our personalities a little more, like this "Celebrate!" stamp.

And those are only the stamps offered by the USPS! Zazzle offers a myriad of differnet wedding-y designs, and even has the option to create custom stamps. However, those include a mark-up a $.56 mark-up, putting them at $1 each, which is ASININE!! So yeah, we'll be going with USPS stamps.

Now to decide on one...

Speaking of Registries

A Practical Wedding, one of the blogs I read, had a post today about a Wall Street Journal article on wedding registries. Because wedding (and baby, or new home, etc) registries are something I have a serious love-hate relationship with, I read it, and found that I'm not really crazy in my views on the registry phenomenon:

Target's most popular bath-towel color is "bison brown." Macy's top towel picks are vanilla, white, linen and chocolate. Couples move more often and "want something they can take with them to their next place and not be committed to a bold color statement," Ms. Bertelsen says. 

Couples in most urban areas typically live in smaller homes compared with the past, and they lack space to store gadgets or items they will use only occasionally.

Both of these quotes are something I've said, as is another point made within the article: couples are living together for one or more years before getting married--they already HAVE everything they need for the home. Gone are the day when a girl doesn't leave home until she returns from her honeymoon, thus requiring a shit-ton of home-starter items, or to make her life as "the proper little housewife and mother" easier. Sure, I want a set of flatware that is equal to the number of place settings we have that actually matches. We have an 8-person plate setting though--do we really need another one right away? I would love to do the same with glasses as well: we have a ton of glasses, but they are in sets of 6, 4 and random pint glasses.

I have bought from a number of registries, and am sometimes astonished by the items--are you REALLY going to use 5 different sizes of measuring cups? Napkin rings? oh come on...you eat take-out 6 days a week, and when you DO cook, your 'fine china' is the disposable plates that can be washed. But we are all adding them to our registries because we succumb to the Wedding Industrial Complex and see what the stores and WIC-supportive sites like The Knot TELL us we should be registering for (napkin rings, and 20-person place settings of the most expensive, ugly china known to man even though we have 6 people at most over at any given time, and 4 different types/sizes of wine glass, when really, the only size that matters is BIG) and can't help ourselves. Not to mention all our loved ones expecting certain things when one says s/he is getting married. But remember, every "tradition" was once new.