The (Unabridged) Ceremony

Several people have asked for one or more parts of the wedding ceremony, and I like to please my friends and loved ones, so here is the ceremony in it's entirety; enjoy!

Welcome

Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court--2003 
"Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support.

Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition. It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry one is excluded from the full range of human experience."

Apache Wedding Blessing 
(this is not authentic, it was created for a book and movie, but we love the sentiment)

Now you will feel no storms,
for each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness,
for each of you is companion to the other.
You are two persons,
but there is one life before you, and one home.
Turn together to look at the road you traveled,
to reach this---the hour of your happiness.
It stretches behind you into the past.
Look to the future that lies ahead.
A long and winding, adventure-filled road,
whose every turn means discovery,
new hopes, new joys, new laughter,
and a few shared tears.
May happiness be your companion,
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead;
And through all the years to come.
Go this day to your dwelling place
and enter into your days together.
May your days be good and long upon the earth.

Plato’s Symposium
Humans have never understood the power of Love, for if they had they would surely have built noble temples and altars and offered solemn sacrifices; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done, since Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy.

To understand the power of Love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, but different. Human beings each had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. There were three genders then: one comprised of two men called the children of the Sun, one made of two women called the children of the Earth, and a third made of a man and a woman, called the children of the Moon. Due to the power and might of these original humans, the Gods began to fear that their reign might be threatened. They sought for a way to end the humans’ insolence without destroying them.

It was at this point that Zeus divided the humans in half. After the division, the two parts of each desiring their other half came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of humankind.

Each of us when separated, having one side only, is but the indenture of a person, and we are always looking for our other half. Those whose original nature lies with the children of the Sun are men who are drawn to other men, those from the children of the Earth are women who love other women, and those from the children of the Moon are men and women drawn to one another. And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love.

Hearth Lighting
In ancient Greece, the hearth was the center of the home. To symbolize this in the modern home, Jessi and Ellie have had an oil lamp created. 

Carrie & Karina carried lanterns in place of the torches traditionally carried by the bride and groom’s mothers. I would like to ask them to light the oil lamp from their candles to represent Jessi and Ellie’s lives joining together into a single home.

Vows
Ellie 
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving than this

So, Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Love me, that’s all I ask of you

We have each other for the ups and downs
And for the days of doubt
And when we have lost our way
There are no words left to say.

I’ll be there and I’ll cover you

It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How Wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

Jessi
I sometimes have a feeling with regard to you--especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.

I have for the first time found what I can truly love – I have found you. You are my sympathy – my better self — my good angel — I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my center and spring of life, wraps my existence about you—and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.
Jane Eyre—Charlotte Bronte

Ring Exchange
I take you to be part of my superhero league to fight crime,
One schizophrenic and college student at a time.
Together we’re stronger than either one alone.
Our powers combined will never allow
Harmful villains into our home.
Let this ring serve as a reminder of our vow.

Celtic Wedding Blessing 
May you both be blessed with the strength of heaven,
The light of the sun and the radiance of the moon
The splendor of fire, the speed of lightning,
The swiftness of wind, the depth of the sea,
The stability of Earth and the firmness of rock.

Programs--Check (minus assembly)

Back in March, I did a  trial to determine the best kind of glue to use for my programs. Saturday, with the assistance of my Man of Honor, I finalized the programs. On Sunday, we printed a test batch to make sure it looked as good on paper as it did on the computer. One of the fonts is a little pixelated, but it's something that only a graphic designer or myself would notice, so we decided to go with it rather than finding a new font. Yesterday I did one last trial before we printed out 125 programs. I didn't want to print a large bunch out and then realize the bottom margins were off or anything. I had nothing to worry about:

All my supplies together-program, dowels w/caps, glue & clips to hold the dowels while it dries

All together, the measurements were perfect!

If you are ever gluing something to a dowel, chip clips are your best friend! These are cheap-o dollar store clips, but they hold the dowels in place to let the glue dry--which is actually pretty quick. I recommend having 3-4 sets so you always have a free set as you assemble. It doesn't take a long time to dry, but you want to give it a few minutes.

Where Our "Happily Ever After" Starts

Back in October, Ellie and I took a ride to visit friends, and stopped by the hotel where we're having the wedding to get a better look at the ceremony space (it was under about 3 feet of snow when we selected it!!) and to see what it would look like when we got married. Of course, we took pictures!!

This is from the back of the seating area looking at the pergola we'll be standing under--we'll stand on the first landing, and our officiant, who is shorter than us, will be at the top. The hotel is behind me.

The pergola is to my right in this picture. I'll walk out of the hotel & come down this walkway.

I'm standing at the top of the steps under the pergola in this shot. Ellie and I are going to meet under the tree and walk down the main aisle together.

Just another shot of the ceremony space--needed the full 360 effect. In the right hand corner is a firepit! How awesome are the nighttime photos near that going to be?!

Program Trial-Run

This was done eons ago, but I've just gotten around to posting. I wanted unique programs that people would remember for a while. Fans are being done to death, and I was adamant that, if we were to go that route, they be the kind that open, but I couldn't think of an effective means or keeping them from just spinning on their brad. Then I saw scrolls, mostly used as invitations, but MUCH better suited for programs IMNSHO. Fearing assembly mistakes with the real thing, I did a few trials with different types of glue (I may try a couple more types of adhesive, but we'll see). First, you need to gather your supplies; in this case--8.5"x14" cream colored paper, chip clips, 10" long dowels (which will be painted silver), & some type of table-protection:

 

And don't forget your adhesives (I tried a few different ones before I was happy with the result):

First, lay out your paper and put a line of your adhesive of choice on the edge, covering about an inch. Position dowel #1 JUST on the edge so there's some overlap:

Begin S-L-O-W-L-Y rolling the paper onto your dowel:

When you get the paper edge completely wrapped around the dowel, add more glue just in front of the dowel & continue to roll so the paper glues to itself, then secure with a chip clip or clothespins until the glue sets:
 

I found that Elmer's is too runny to get a smooth, tight wrap & I was left with wrinkles and they won't lie flat:

Glue sticks are too hard?

I found that my best option out of the glues I tried was the scrapbook glue; and it dried really well too! The drying pic above is using the scrapbook glue, and it looks the best out of all of them. I can't seem to find the same kind though, so may have to try to find another brand. The nice thing about the one I used is that it has a rolling applicator rather than just squeezing a bunch of liquid & hoping it's not too much or little--a lot more control. Finally, some pics of the bulk wood order we made; a few dowels at the store aren't expensive, 75 are! We are also going to cap the dowels rather than try to sand them down, and those little babies are $4 for 2 in the store!!

Honoring Marriage Equality

I'm lucky enough to live in MA, where same-sex couples are free to get married. However, there are still many places where my future status won't be recognized. Because of this, I want to ensure that I incorporate things that will show I am aware of this inequality and support the continued efforts towards attaining marriage equality. In light of that, I have been planing to have my officiant include this passage from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage (I'd like the quote to be a surprise, but if you REALLY want to know it, you can look it up). I also just thought of another thing I can do--tie white ribbons in knots around Ellie & the boys' boutonnieres, and possibly the girls' facinators. I guess we'll see how that looks once I actually start working on them, but I think it'll be okay with the peacock color scheme.

I don't want my wedding to scream "Look!!! This is a LESBIAN couple getting married!!!" but it's important to recognize that what I am doing is not recognized everywhere, and that there are still many people who will have to jump through hoops to gain hospital visitation/healthcare decision privileges (and still be denied by family or hospital staff), who have to go without health insurance because they cannot be covered by their partner's policy (or it costs more than for hetero couples). I don't want to rub it in people's faces, not on what is supposed to be a happy celebration, but I do want people to be aware.

Live from Bedford: Jessi & Ellie Unplugged?

On the 241 South Studios Facebook page, Jeremy posted a link to an article on Offbeat Bride about having an "Unplugged Wedding."

So there you are at the altar, gazing into the eyes of your beloved, saying your vows. You turn to sneak a glance at your wedding guests, all your favorite beloved friends and family... and are greeted by a sea of down-turned faces staring at their LCD screens.

Yup, I'm as guilty as the next person of paying more attention to my camera and getting the "perfect shot." But really, is that picture, that I'm only going to look at once or twice for the rest of my life, really worth missing some of the experience? Heck, at the last wedding we went to, I was behind the camera during most of the ceremony trying to get the perfect shot--and it DIDN'T HAPPEN! What did happen was I missed some of the pastor's speech and some of the vows. Maybe that's why I've never been much of a photographer; I've always been too busy to remember to take the camera out (I've gotten better as I've gotten older, but there are no pictures from when I was in high school or college). And when I helped Jeremy with the GSEM Gold & Graduating event, we were talking about all the parents that didn't care about free professional pictures, they were all crowding around taking crappy cell phone pictures, not even paying attention to their daughters' achievements. It was also difficult for him to take pictures without a parent's head or camera in the way--if you read that article, you'll see that many photographers feel this way.

I am seriously thinking about having an unplugged ceremony (don't worry folks, your cameras would be welcome at the reception!). I might even talk to Erica about getting prints of the ceremony for us give with our thank you cards or something to people have something and won't feel quite as bad about not being able to take their own.

I don't know...I'm more just as connected as anyone, but I think this would be a really meaningful thing to do, for both us AND our guests. Hopefully Ellie feels the same way.

Making it Harder on Ourselves

Saturday, we went to visit D, which is a venue we had been thinking about for some time, but because it's slightly north of Boston, was a little lower on our to-see list. However, the single picture on their site made it too good to pass up, so it became the 3rd location we have looked at.

Holy bananas!! Honestly, we are highly unlikely to look at any other places and are actually wracking our brains trying to decide between D and H. D is amazing--the ceremony space is gorgeous and can double as extra space for the cocktail hour, the hall is big enough that we won't feel cramped, but I also don't see us getting swallowed up in some grand ballroom built for 400. There are a few other intriguing features that I'm not going to discuss until we've made a decision, but they just work so perfectly for who we are and who our guests will be.

I feel confident to say that Ellie prefers D and would book it tomorrow if I wasn't slightly hesitant. It's more expensive (although not by a whole lot), and I feel blasé about the hors d'oeuvres and dinner selection at D compared to H. And I prefer that the ceremony space is a lawn with trees instead of stone--unfortunately it seems to be set up weird and the pictures we've look at don't give a very good visual.

So we're in a small conundrum and are going to have to seriously sit down and decide...hell, it might come down to drawing a name out of a hat ☺We'll see.

Looky-Loo

This past Tuesday was Ellie's day off, and we spent the first half of it looking at a couple of potential venues.

The first place, which I'll call S, was nice but it was easy to see why the prices were so low. The outside of the building was obviously older, although the inside had been nicely remodeled in recent years. Based on our intended guest count, the wedding coordinator showed us a function room that was gorgeous,with marble and a glass wall that could be uplit in any number of colors, but was rather small. It maxes out at 125, which is about where we are estimating where our guest list will be--this means a TIGHT reception and the potential to have to really limit the number of invitations we send. The space also had some limitations because it was rectangular and had 4 large columns, which I know will limit visibility. If we were to use the ballroom, we'd either get lost in the 450-person capacity or have to split the room and have a function next door--yeah, that's not going to happen. Finally, they have no outdoor space to have a ceremony--the room we were shown had whiteboards along the main wall and I am assuming they don't have curtains to hide them because the coordinator said, "and we'll face all the chairs towards the windows so the guests see the trees; they won't remember the back wall." That was a serious - for this location, that they didn't even have a semi-nice room to have the ceremony. However, based on price and options within the packages, S is still an option; we'd just have to find another place to have the ceremony and tighten up the guest list.

H is gorgeous!! Unfortunately the catering manger had a personal emergency so wasn't able to meet us; he did have someone show us around for about 15 minutes and give us their materials. She showed us the outdoor area where ceremonies usually take place--unfortunately the 10 feet of snow that covered it prevented us from really seeing the space and visualizing how it would be actually set up (and pics online aren't terribly helpful). The ballroom was amazing, even only seeing half of the space--the only thing that would have made it better is chandeliers. We were able to get a few questions answered, but not many, so will definitely be meeting with the catering manager in the future. Our only problem is price: H is pretty expensive and doesn't have quite as many options.

There are a couple of other venues we're interested in seeing, so will hopefully be scheduling those soon.

To Remember for the Ceremony

Ellie and I are going to have to somehow incorporate pomegranate and quince into the wedding ceremony as they are both involved with the ancient Greek wedding ritual. The quince would be an offering to Aphrodite to bless us with love and passion, the pomegranate to Hera to bless and protect the marriage itself and our home.

Date? DATE!!

First of all, I'd like to direct you all to our "About Us" page (click there or on the tab above)--we've both finally updated it!

So, I think we have settled on a couple of dates so we can start looking at venues after the New Year! I finally pulled up a 2012 calendar and noticed that the New and Full Moons are both on Saturdays in September, 2012. The New Moon is a very auspicious time for new beginnings, and the Full Moon will be a gorgeous touch to an evening reception.

Having our wedding in September may create some difficulties with my career being in Higher Ed and it being the beginning of the new academic year and all, but I'll have been working for a year and it should be fine as long as I have gotten things settled, under some control and have people in place to take care of whatever it is that may come up while I'm gone--this is a one-time thing and I don't see my supervisor being terribly against it when the time comes.

So, yeah. Unless our favorite venues ALL have weddings booked one those two dates, I'm feeling pretty confident that we have them settled!