Thank You!!

About a week before the Shower, we were out and I was all of a sudden hit by the realization that

WE HAVE TO SEND 2 THANK YOU CARDS!!

I don't know why this struck me as such a big thing. I know we'd discussed some ideas for the Wedding thank you's, but it never seemed to dawn on me that we'd have to send separate ones for the Shower (don't even ask, because I have no freaking idea...). We happened to be in Harvard Square that day and decided to look around. (Yes, Ellie TOTALLY thought I knew, considering this was one week before the shower itself). 

Cards are expensive yo.

And most leave something to be desired.

In the 2 different stores, we found some that were tolerable, and some that were amazing, but none that REALLY stood out. I think one of the problems with not really having a theme is that it's difficult to gather all the pieces and make them coherent--maybe we should have just ordered everything from the same company at the same time!!

But we didn't, so have been learning as we go. And when I really stop to think about it, if we had gone that route, I wouldn't have been able to get the most amazing invitations of all time from my co-worker!! I kind of shut down while we were on our hunting excursion, so Ellie did a little CBT and came up with an amazing idea: we would make the thank you's for the Shower and re-evaluate our ambition and desire to do a little more DIY as we got closer or just after the Wedding itself. She knows me so well--this would be a perfect opportunity to get rid of at least a little of the craft stuff we have, and take a good look at our stock to maybe prompt some re-organization or donation (both of which happened).



 Once Ellie got the design down, and we selected the colors/stamps/paper, it wasn't hard at all. I've only made a couple of cards in my life, but Ellie's the resident expert thanks to her Mom, so I let her lead (yes, it WAS difficult). She cut, I folded; she stamped the front, then I stamped the inside while she cut the other pieces.










Something I had never really thought of was using colored pencils to highlight the stamps (I knew Ellie and her mom enhanced their cards, but the how never really clicked). I think I did a halfway okay job with these little flowers.

We even dressed up the envelopes a little bit!

The responses to the cards was really nice, it almost makes me want to make the thank you's for the Wedding too, but I've found some nice ones online and don't know of the energy and cost to make them will outweigh the benefit of showing off our DIY talents.

Showered With Love--Part II, The Party

Or, "I Don't Deserve My Friends"

The excited Wedding Party,
plus Sister Heidi who helped plan the Shower,
minus Man of Honor Jeremy who had a prior commitment

Get up to speed with Part I...

Traffic was bad, so only about half the attendees were there for the surprise, but people kept arriving. It was amazing how many people showed up: the Wirzburger clan (including the Honorary Wirzburgers) from up and down the mid-Atlantic made the trek up, despite needing to do it again in a few weeks; a bunch of my friends from back home, even the Vermonter, who had to get back to her new home and visiting step-daughter, did the 8-hour round trip! I know that our family and friends love us, but seeing it expressed in this way is hard to take in--I'm not the most accepting of love and support, so it's kind of overwhelming.

Opening the gifts from the Wishing Well

The whole day had a "backyard cook-out" vibe to it--there were no silly games (although now I can see why games are played at these events, I just have a hard time believing there are non-stupid ones out there), everyone was laid back without a lot of the pretense that comes with these things (being in shorts helps!), and it was just what I wanted if I had to have one. The worst part of the whole day? Not being the Hostess--when one is the hostess, she has an excuse to run around and chat with the various groups and generally act a little ADHD. One may find it odd with my social anxiety, but I'd rather HOST a party than be the guest of honor because it lets me take the focus off of myself & place it on my guests. Being Guest of Honor means socializing with everyone without making anyone feel left out--THAT is where my discomfort lies; I always feel like I'm short-changing someone and I hate that. I really do wish I'd been able to spend more time with everyone--I barely spoke with the ladies who were more Ellie's friends than mine, and feel like I short-changed many of my own friends

Enough about my personal insecurities! The girls made an amazing spread, and I can't thank the Fernandes Farm crew enough for all their contributions to food prep, cake/cupcake baking and material loans. Ellie and I haven't had to cook all week thanks to them. Everything about it was so great, from the baseball ticket invitations to the awesome can koozie favors, to the red & white paper lanterns; it was simple yet very well-executed. The coolest part? BASEBALLS instead of a guestbook! I can't wait to get a couple of little display stands for them!

It still amazes me how many people showed up, from so many places, and how generous they all were. The day was a whirl, so I'm looking forward to sitting down and really getting to read the cards and examine the gifts, and write out the Thank Yous. I only hope I can do justice to all the love and kindness everyone showed.

Showered With Love--Part I, The Reveal

Or, "How Ellie Lied to Jessi and Completely Tricked Her"

Can you see the incredulous look on my face?
Yeah, I just figured out  the party was for ME

I knew that Ladies of Honor Carrie & Karina, together with Sister in Law Heidi, were throwing a Shower--this fact had been confirmed time and again despite my protests to everyone that I didn't really want one, nor should they put so much work and effort into something that wasn't very important in the grand scheme of things.

They threw one anyway.

I actually enjoyed it. Other than that whole "opening presents in front of other people" thing. I still feel that is a load of crap and no one actually wants to see the lovely bride open card after card and gift after gift. I have proof this is true!

But onto the day itself. Ellie took the day off, claiming to need a "mental health day" that Mental Health Workers get so few of, and suggested we go somewhere new for a walk; a co-worker had suggested someplace in Weymouth, which turned out to be Webb Memorial State Park. The first thing I do at a place like this is read the bulletin board, which usually has a map and historical information. As we walked toward the park, I noticed a large pavilion with paper lanterns and a bunch of people. Commenting with a cheery "Oh wow, this actually would be a great place to have a party," I blindly kept to the task at hand--taking that walk we had planned before the day got any later, and thus, hotter.

See, Ellie had been dawdling all morning on Saturday. I'm not much of one for getting right out of bed or anything, but I'm also VERY much not one for spending copious amounts of time outside in the heat, which is what we'd have been doing at 12:30. Yet we stopped for breakfast (which was nice--we usually eat our bagels in the car), then putzed around the pet store and Goodwill. it was all I could do to get her moving!

So we're at the park and Ellie starts pulling me away from the board even though she KNOWS I like to read them. I realize she's steering us near the pavilion. I understand her desire to check it out, but there's a party happening, we can't just go spectate on a party! She turns with a doofy smile on her face and says, "Yes, this is a REALLY good place to have a party..."

She can tell you the truth, but I think it took a few more steps and recognizing someone (I can't remember who, it was more noticing familiarity than a genuine recognition) near the pavilion before everything clicked and I realized this was the shower. All of a sudden my eyes began to actually SEE people and come to terms with what was happening, it was all very surreal for a while as I'm trying to act with grace, joy and not let my anxiety completely take over.

Part two is HERE...

On the Pontoon!!!

Roughly a month ago I was told to go to Ernesto's house on June 29th after work to celebrate my bachelorette party.  I was driving my friend Stephanie to the house but other than a VAGUE understanding of clothes to wear and that Karina, Ernesto and Stephanie would be there I had no idea what to expect.
    So packed with my fancy pants, Roderigo the cone and my cowboy hat I was off.  Well kind of.  Steph and I had a brief stop at CVS which led somehow to animal visors with matching water bottles.  On the way down Steph introduced me to some music that I was not familiar with, one being the song "Pontoon".  This song made me laugh and would become one of the anthems of the weekend. 
   When I arrived at Ernesto's (after a short trip to Target) the room was decorated with balloons (boobs) and streamers.  We had a calm night with a drink and a few stories from the past.  The next morning there was a brunch all home cooked food by Ernesto and Grant.  Friends started to arrive... Bryan and Michelle.  I was given the options of making shirts or wearing pink.  We made shirts and I had to come up with the names to go on them but couldn't know who they would be for...
Mine = Super Dyke (a name i have used to describe myself for many years)
Bryan = Double D's  (he was and has been many times our designated driver)
Michelle = Common Law Wife (Michelle and I lived together for multiple years and joked we were almost common law married)
Ernesto = Unicorn (this needs no explanation)
Stephanie = Mixologist (Steph mixed our morning drinks and has made some "mean" punches and beertinas through our relationship)
Amanda = Ellie's Bitch (I said this out loud and someone said...I know someone that requested that shirt)
Karina = Minion (I love the minions from Despicable ME and for the night I got to have one)
Christine = Love Slave (I guess you weren't gone...;-) inside joke here)
Roderigo = Roderigo (It's his name)
During this time other people arrived, i was given a boa, a cowgirl hat that lite up "BRIDE", plastic gun and sheriff pins.
Christine and Karina arrived and we jumped in the rented SUV car to the first stop...Thomas Hooker Brewery after a tour and maybe a sample or two... stop 2 where Amanda met up with us The Iron Horse here we enjoyed a dinner and front row seats to the Burlesque show ( :-) )and the last stop Divas. 
The night consisted of laughing, drinking, eating, dancing, laughing and bad singing...
The ride home was many great songs like Pontoon and Red Solo Cup.  There was some motor-boating mixed in there too and a lot of pictures.
Next morning another yummy brunch and said our "see ya laters"
It really was a great time and well organized.  I know we were a little slow moving and missed a possible spot or two.  I know that there were a few people that wished they could have been there. But it really was a lot of fun and kept with in my guidelines of my original requests.  It was great to introduce some of my closest friends to each other and it is overwhelming to be reminded that they were all there to celebrate me and my next step in life. 

Dressing the Ladies' Hair

Karina came up from NYC to help with our dinner tasting and spend some time with us. Ellie took Saturday off from work, but left Karina & I together to make the hairclips that Karina and Carrie will be wearing. I have to admit to being VERY nervous about this--cutting those beautiful peacock feathers I'd bought was incredibly stress-inducing, I was terrified I'd make a mistake.

But K had taken the lead in making the facinators for another friend's wedding last year, and was totally confident in both of our abilities. Our plan of attack: get coffee, lay out all the supplies, and each of us make one--she'd make hers, I'd make Carrie's. Here's K just as we're getting started:

I had the feathers, hot glue, black felt and scissors--she had brought some costume jewelry she had lying around, as well as some beads  & other bobbles for embellishment (look, you can see my card box in that pic!--I'm storing smaller stuff in there for safety).

Each clip has 2 feathers and an old earring as it's bling aspect. I feel a little guilty not using any of the other beads & bobbles K brought, but I think they might have taken away from the clips (and we really couldn't think of a good way to incorporate them). Here are the cut feathers, the felt support backing and a bunch of the beads we had--you can kind of see the earrings towards the background of the picture. Man, I was NERVOUS about cutting those feathers down, but I did it, slowly. I kind of messed up in the length, then when I was gluing the top feather down, but it actually came up fairly well & I was able to re-position it.

How we did it: we cut a teardrop out of black felt as a base, then glued one of the feathers to it. We positioned the other feather on top and slightly off-center & glued that down. K was really thinking and came up with the idea that, since they will be on different sides of the altar, the guests will see different sides of their heads, so it might be best to have the clips facing different directions! How glad am I she was able to help with this?!?! After everything was glued, we stuck an earring through the bottom, glued it to prevent it from spinning and bent down the post. I still need to find good clips to attach to them--K said I want ones with teeth to help with the hold, but I've yet to find any; the hunt is still on!

 

All the Pretty Colors

I have a confession folks. I'm a control-freak. I found my shoes quite a while ago, and I wanted everything in the same color-scheme, so decided that I'd forget all about David's Bridal (which I wasn't crazy about using anyway because EVERYONE goes there) and get all of the dresses and vests and whatnot from Dessy because we'd have the same colors and everything would be wonderfully matchy-matchy. I even put together a styleboard of my favorite dresses with the vests, my shoes and a nice shade of purple to go with my dress:

My Dessy styleboard--Sapphire, Clover & Pansy 

So when we started planning for our trip to NJ for Lady of Honor dresses, I selected stores that carried the Dessy lines and honestly, was all set for the girls to fall in love with an pick one of those three.

It didn't quite work out that way. Are you shocked?

I don't think any of those three were in either store--none of them were picked at any rate. In total, between Carrie, Karina and Ellie (you'd think that bridal stores would have samples larger than 10), about 40 dresses were tried on. Unfortunately, I screwed up and deleted some pics in order to "organize" for our thinking lunch--ORGANIZATION CAN BE DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR BLOGGING AND WEDDING PLANNING, keep that in mind. But I do have our top 4 contenders, 2 from each store, and only one being a Dessy (nope, can't say I remember which one)

Contenders 1 & 2

Contenders 3 & 4

Eden Bridal's Royal Blue

The 4 of us spent all of lunch (well, a lot of lunch, most of it was spent stuffing out faces with Thai/Malaysian at Penang, which is my new favorite restaurant!) flipping back & forth between these 2 photos and trying to select one. One of my biggest difficulties came from the fact that only one of them was Dessy, so I wasn't able to picture the color I wanted for the majority of the dresses. I HATE that bridal shops have the tiniest piece of fabric ever, glued onto a card with a billion other tiny pieces of fabric, to provide a bride for selecting a color. As a matter of fact, I think the swatch I was able to see was the size of this image--it was as close to my sapphire as I was able to find in the Eden line. now that I have images next to each other, I'm a little more confident in the match, but I still have to get Ellie her vest, so am hoping we can make it work so she matches the girls. the guys will be easy because we're keeping the Dessy Clover. I'm looking forward to the dresses coming in so I can actually SEE what they look like. Anyone with mad photo-editing skills want to try and create a vision for me? :P

Infographics are Cool

In light of my previous post, and because I find the WIC fascinating, I'm re-posting this infografic from Mint.com:

Provided by Mint.com <--click to see the full-size version

It's amazing what bridesmaids (not groomsmen mind you, only the women) are supposed to spend for the "priviledge" of being in someone's wedding!!!!! An ex of mine was in a wedding while we were together and it almost ruined her 10-year friendship with the Maid of Honor because no one took into consideration (like the infographic advises) the fact that she made significantly less money than the rest of them, and ignored her pleas to save money on things like the shower and gifts. A current friend is being told that the bachelorette party has to be a weekend cottage in VT, which is going to run upwards of $400/person. WHAT?!?!?! REALLY?!?!?!

I'm so happy that Ellie and I are on a similar page when it comes to the financial burden we're placing on our People of Honor. For me, it's because I'm cheap and can't spend that kind of money, no matter HOW much I love the person, and am putting that onto my friends. For Ellie, I think it's a combination of my reason and because she's been in more than her fair share of weddings, so is personally aware of the potentially daunting cost. Friends, family, don't go into debt because you love the couple. Make it work for your situation and SHOW UP!! That's where the real gift is.

Posting Because I Want To

It's 1 year, 2 months and 2 days (430 days total) until the wedding. So far we have a venue, photographer, cake baker, wedding dress, and a loose theme. We still need a DJ, select a cake flavor and decoration, wedding party outfits, Ellie's outfit, and to make/buy decorations/favors/etc. All in all, I don't think we're doing too badly.

The other day, I spoke with both Karina and Carrie about wedding planning stuff, and I am once again very much in wedding planning mode, which is kind of awkward considering my mom's recent passing. The other problem with being in planning mode is that there's not much to be done RIGHT NOW--buying/making stuff now makes me worried about losing/breaking them in the next year; we can't buy outfits for a few more months (Karina suggested this Spring, but Ellie & I are thinking maybe late Winter); and the other decisions don't have to be made for a while.

So where does that leave us? Kind of in limbo...now that I'm starting a job, we'll actually have a little bit of money to put towards collecting up decorations/favors/etc. We ARE going to be ordering Save the Dates this month, which is super exciting. I will also have to be in touch with Jocelyn (at Doubletree) about a timeline for her--things like selecting the menu, forgoing the floral centerpieces, and anything else I haven't thought of yet :D

I guess I'll also have to be in touch with Erica to discuss customizing/altering our package choices since some of our initial thoughts aren't going to happen.

More Casting

Ellie isn't the only one of us that has selected and asked her "people of honor." As far as I know, I have spoken directly to everyone that might have thought they would be asked, but if I haven't, please don't take offence at not being asked to be in the wedding party. I have never wanted a large wedding party, and have only personally seen bad shit go down when one is a bridesmaid, and I refuse to allow that to happen to my friends.

In total, the wedding party is 6 + one officiant, who is a personal friend. A little bigger than I wanted, but not nearly the number I was afraid of. Now to clothe them!!

The Cast of Characters --- Casted

Yikes 18 months until the big day. It is about time I ask the two people to stand next to me to do that. I put it off for a while debating and trying to figure out who should be the 2 next to me. Over the last few years I have become so close with so many friends and family and to have everyone up there would be a Macy's Parade. So Jessi and I decided that we would both have 2 people next to us. As I thought more about it, my main concern is as many of my friends and family can attend the ceremony and party. :-) I don't want a slew of people running around trying to get dresses, tux and worrying who will take the kids while they are next to us, the financial aspect, etc, etc etc. I hope no one is offended or hurt but I think I'm honest enough with my feelings that you all know how I feel about you. So without further ado I picked the homeless lady down the street and the mailman that delivers the wrong mail to us, we are close. ;-)