Stories Have Meaning

Yesterday and today are important days in the fight for equal marriage rights for same-sex couples. The HRC has encouraged people to wear red in support of Marriage Equality (please don't call it gay or same-sex marriage, you don't say straight marriage), which has prompted most of my Facebook friends to change their profile pics to a red version of the HRC Equality symbol.

I didn't. I did change my pic to one of Ellie and I at our wedding though, because that was more important to me--putting real faces on this situation, reminding people that, should we ever move to one of the 40 states that don't recognize our marriage, we're as good as strangers to each other. It's not that I don't appreciate the love, support and sentiment expressed by my family and friends--things like this really do go a long way toward promoting acceptance and understanding by a larger audience. But a symbol is often just that (think about all the times women post their bra or purse color in "support" of breast cancer awareness--that goes nowhere to help further the research toward a cure). I don't think this is the same, but I'm still undecided about how I feel about all this.

I do know how I feel about the image I posted above. This morning on my commute, I checked Facebook and saw this image on the personal account of Erica Ewing Photography (yes, I'm cool enough for my photographer to friend me on Facebook!). For some reason, THIS made me tear up. I found Erica by accident at a wedding expo and instantly connected to her. It helped that she recognized Jeremy from a blog post he'd done previously. Her answer to "Have you done a same-sex wedding before?" also helped. Erica smiled & said "I haven't had the opportunity to, but I hope I can" or something like that. So many of the other photographers were disingenuous: smiling too wide & avoiding eye contact because they didn't want to be rude, but clearly NOT comfortable with the idea (you're being obvious, so I won't even think to hire you, don't worry about it); or making up excuses about why they don't have experience with same-sex weddings (I don't actually expect most mainstream photographers to have experience, I really just want to know how to feel about it).

Erica is a professional photographer, and she made money off of us (that's why one goes into business for oneself--to make money), but she CARES--the gifts and time and repeated comments about how much she enjoyed our wedding have gone a long way to make me realize that we ARE just like everyone else.

I lucky to know part of Erica's reason for changing her profile picture, but I don't know the story behind most people's change--these stories are what will change the minds of the undecideds, the ones who don't think they know anyone affected by Marriage Equality, who don't think they know an LGBT person. Don't just change your profile picture, tell the world WHY you're changing it.

Color Me Gorgeous!

Tuesday was the hair/makeup trial and I am super happy with the results! I typically wear my hair chin-length because otherwise it's limp and I hate it being on my neck, so I wind up pulling longer hair into a ponytail which destroys my hair & turns the top into a halo of tiny broken hairs. I loathe it, yet I insisted on growing it out for the wedding because it just wouldn't be right if my hair wasn't up in some way. And I don't have a stylist of my own; I can't find anyone who can get my hair cut correct unless I pay $60; and that's not going to happen.

I found Hey Good Lookin at a wedding expo of all places! The stylists all had fun & funky haircuts, most of them with some amount of unnatural color; and many of the ladies had multiple/facial piercings--NOT the kind of ladies you think when you think about salons vending at a wedding expo. Obviously I spoke to them even though the salon is more than an hour from my house. They were sweet and understanding and completely willing to help. The prices were right too--$40-$60 for wedding hair!! Cassandra and I chatted; I wanted a look that's kind of whimsical but still off my neck but not pulled all the way off my face either (I am embarrassed by my high forehead). Casandra had actually worked off my inspiration photos, so we were completely on the same page:

This is how I looked just as I arrived

Hair is done! Will be tighter, and the front a little less awkward, but you get the idea

It looks like I have a ton of hair!! Can you see the tiny braids?"

The make-up didn't come out great in this pic--teal eyeshadow, light cheeks & lips.

From the side. I may have the headband moved forward a bit

CAKE!!!

Yeah, I'm not creative enough to think up a better title because it's all I can think of when the topic of cake comes up.

I've mentioned before, but the DoubleTree required us to use Montilio's, something I was only too happy to agree to. For those unfamiliar with the company, Montiilo's is a South Shore institution, having made many a famous cake over the last 65 years.


When we arrived, we were greeted by a young lady who announced we were there & asked if we wanted a drink. We'd already decided that coffees were needed & ordered our fancy-ass flavored pick-me-ups. Then she didn't charge us! I'm guessing they know we're spending a ton of money on the cake, so a couple coffees won't really matter? It was a nice touch regardless, and gave them a few more brownie points.

It's interesting. Although I've pinned a few cakes to my wedding Pinterest boards, the cake is one thing we never really discussed beyond agreeing that "it MUST be delicious." So, when Frank, who was working with us started out very simply with the seemingly simple "Do you want a round or square cake?' we were like deer in headlights, just staring at each other, then mumbling out a quick "Do you care?" "No, do you?" "I guess round since we don't have a preference." We poured through the display books, hemmed and hawed and finally agreed to a design that Frank suggested, even though it was an "upgrade" and cost more. I'm happy with it, but do wish we had thought to discuss the cake design before because I think we were a little pressured into it since we had no real ideas.


Then the moment I'd been waiting for practically since we got engaged: CAKE!!! (can you tell i have a sweet tooth?)

Aren't those gorgeous!?!?! I hope I remember them correctly; if not, I can' always come back later & edit without you knowing any better ;P All the cakes have white, unflavored butter cream on the outside. Clockwise from the top left:

• Devils Food Chocolate with Chocolate Butter Cream
• Gold with Strawberries & Whipped Cream
• Presidential White with Ricotta Chocolate Chip
• Marble Swirl with Mocha Chocolate Truffle
• Red Velvet with Cream Cheese
• Lemon Orange Marble, soaked in Grand Marnier with Lemon Butter Cream
• Carrot with Cream Cheese
• Presidential White with Raspberry

We ate them in reverse order, mainly because we knew that the 4 at the top would be the most delicious!! We were diligent tasters--we each tried the filing and cake on its own, then took a bite with everything together. The cakes were pretty amazing; even the lemon-orange one was good if you like that sort of flavor (I dislike orange-flavored anything).

Get in my belly!!

I feel more than a little sad we only ate the bottom layer of each cake. Frank told us to eat more, but we were pretty full, although we did finish the Marble/Truffle and the White/Ricotta Chocolate Chip because they were SO good, but were definitely in a slight sugar coma by the time we left. Picking the cake itself wasn't too difficult, we quickly nixed the 3 that we weren't huge fans of, then narrowed it down to the 2 we thought were most delicious. I kind of pulled rank and requested my favorite type of cake, which Ellie only too gladly agreed to.

The filling was MURDER though. The top 4 were all considered "upgrades," and the options for non-upgrades weren't spelled out as clearly as I wanted them to. And I was REALLY hesitant to spend even more money that we didn't need to. I don't know if Frank felt a little bad about conning us into the decor upgrade, or wanted to give us the "FAMILY" (nudge nudge, wink, wink) discount, or both or something else, but he gave us a filling flavor upgrade for nothing, which was super awesome, but didn't help a ton, because they were even more delicious than the regular options. With the field narrowed to two, we were made a final offer we couldn't refuse--one filling for the main part of the cake, and the other in out top tier--that way we could have both but still have a deliciously amazing option for the guests. My sweet tooth was hooked.

Food, Glorious Food!

Considering it's been almost a month since the dinner tasting, and we are going for the cake tasting tonight, it's probably about time I made the FOOD post. Warning, this post is photo-heavy (remember to click the pics to see them full-size) and extremely delicious!

Joined by the lovely Karina, Ellie's lady of Honor extraordinaire, and Danielle, who graciously accepted our offer to join us as an honorary Person of Honor (wow, that's awkward to say!). What we saw upon our arrival in the tasting room was pretty impressive:

Okay, this was actually the "sample table" where we go to see and choose the napkin fold and table number. I didn't get a shot of the "eating table" before we dug in, but it was very similar , only with more place settings, no plates, and an extra wine glass (we each got a glass of the house white, the house red and champagne!). Jocelyn, the event coordinator, sat with the four of us to go over details like those on the "sample table," centerpieces, timing, etc, and generally make sure we were all on the same page.

As the food began to arrive, she continued to sit with us to note our selections and answer questions. It was weird to be eating in front of her, and we all kept asking if she was okay--I know she does this all the time, but it was still slightly uncomfortable. Now, so you're up to speed, when we scheduled the tasting, we were asked to select 2 appetizers, 2 salads and 4 entrees (from 7, 6 & 12 options respectively!); we narrowed the field by half during the tasting and our menu (minus the cocktail hour hour d'ourves) was complete. We should have known just from making the initial selection that this would be a lot tougher than we hoped!

First Course: Appetizer



We chose clam chowdah :) and tortellini for the appetizers. Clam chowder is so quintessentially New England, and Ellie's family has a long history of tortellini soup for special occasions, this was the next best thing. Although we each got our own cup of chowder, we split 2 plates of tortellini--we all filled up on the chowder so didn't have room for the tortellini, that's why not much had been eaten in the pic.

Second Course: Salad

Again, we shared two of each salad: caprese & wedge. Honestly, these were the only two that really sounded like something we wanted to eat. I love that the caprese salad wasn't just red tomatoes--that slice of yellow really made the dish pop. Wedge salads are just awesome. You really should try a wedge salad, just saying.

LOL, you can see my wedding notebook in this picture!!




Third Course: Dinner

 Can you tell from this picture that we like red meat? of the four dinners we chose, 3 had some type of steak on them. This decision was actually really grueling because we are both such people pleasers, but also wanted to be happy with our choice. Clockwise from top left:

• Mixed Grille of Petite Filet Mignon and Jonah Crab Stuffed Jumbo Shrimp
• Filet of Beef Tenderloin with Scampi Prawns
• Duet of Sirloin with a Green Peppercorn Demi Glaze and Coriander Crusted Marinated Chicken
• Herb and Panko Crusted Breast of Chicken

They all came with some type of mashed potatoes and a veggie. I mean, seriously, holy crap these all look amazing, don't they? They tasted just as amazing, trust me. The four of us each took a plate and passed them around. I'm pretty sure we passed some of them more than once. :D We definitely hemmed and hawed about the merits of each, and what we did & didn't like. As she listened, Jocelyn shot out some options that allowed Ellie and I to make the most of the menu and hopefully please almost everyone. I know some people will bitch, but really? they would probably bitch no matter what we served.

Final Course: Dessert

Yes, the dessert will actually be our cake, but Doubletree adds a chocolate covered strawberry or an ice cream bonbon with it. How awesome, right?

The near plates in this picture are how the plate will look with either a bonbon or strawberry (imagine a delicious piece of cake between the whipped cream swirls). The far plate is just a dish of strawberries, the plate of bonbons was already being passed around.

Both were absolutely amazing, but it was really a no-brainer to be honest.

This was the aftermath (we totally housed the desserts). I almost wish we hadn't had breakfast, no matter how light, beforehand because that was a LOT of food! It's so wonderful to know that we and our guests are going to be treated so well. All the food is made in-house by the same chef who runs Bistro 44, which is in the hotel, who prides himself on only serving food that is sourced from within 44 miles of the hotel. That's harder to do when cooking for a wedding, but knowing there is an effort is nice.

I'm not going to reveal our choices until after the invites go out (about 2-3 weeks, I promise!!) to not ruin the surprise, but I plan to post a full description of each meal so guests have a better idea of what they are selecting for dinner. Everything else remains a surprise (I think...we'll see if I can hold back!).

PAPER! Paper?

Man of Honor Jeremy might kick my ass or resign once he reads this post, but I hope he understands.

Until very recently, I have been 100% committed to the idea of "Send 'n Seal" invitations.

Source: lcipaper.com via Jessi on Pinterest

How cute are those right? And they are environmentally friendly too--no superfluous inserts to get lost, not to mention up to 3 envelopes if I was to go completely formal--envelope with the address, envelope inside that containing the actual invite suite, and one more tiny envelope to send back the RSVP card. No way. I was not going to destroy the earth with a bunch of useless paper--the RSVP is a postcard that is simply detached and mailed all by itself. Not to mention the EXPENSE of all of that!

Then, a couple months ago, I realized that the chances we can use a wax seal on the invited was slim. I really like wax seals, and they would so go with out theme.

So long beautiful wax seal
Image from GiftValues.com

But it was okay because I could use the seals on our programs! As we started the process of testing the programs, we realized that wouldn't work very well. So I resigned myself to not having a wax seal.

Late last week, I thought about the possibility of our invites coming open unless we also sealed the sides, which would mean ugly tape or buying extra, clear, seals for the sides and I began to ponder the idea of envelopes--we can still use the above invite, with the tear-off RSVP card and stick the whole thing into a single envelope, right? I imagine the cost exchange being fairly similar when you account for both price and labor. The environmental factor can be off-set by using recycled envelopes, making envelopes from paper we already have--and the impact of plastic seals/tape is likely to be similar to that of envelopes? I just don't know. My inner perfectionist is battling my inner environmentalist.

Invites still have to be made, and no matter what, we're using that format, even if it is put inside an envelope, so there's time, but not a lot, because we want to put them in the mail in July. So really, it's not a ton of time depending on how long they take to get made.

All the Pretty Colors

I have a confession folks. I'm a control-freak. I found my shoes quite a while ago, and I wanted everything in the same color-scheme, so decided that I'd forget all about David's Bridal (which I wasn't crazy about using anyway because EVERYONE goes there) and get all of the dresses and vests and whatnot from Dessy because we'd have the same colors and everything would be wonderfully matchy-matchy. I even put together a styleboard of my favorite dresses with the vests, my shoes and a nice shade of purple to go with my dress:

My Dessy styleboard--Sapphire, Clover & Pansy 

So when we started planning for our trip to NJ for Lady of Honor dresses, I selected stores that carried the Dessy lines and honestly, was all set for the girls to fall in love with an pick one of those three.

It didn't quite work out that way. Are you shocked?

I don't think any of those three were in either store--none of them were picked at any rate. In total, between Carrie, Karina and Ellie (you'd think that bridal stores would have samples larger than 10), about 40 dresses were tried on. Unfortunately, I screwed up and deleted some pics in order to "organize" for our thinking lunch--ORGANIZATION CAN BE DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR BLOGGING AND WEDDING PLANNING, keep that in mind. But I do have our top 4 contenders, 2 from each store, and only one being a Dessy (nope, can't say I remember which one)

Contenders 1 & 2

Contenders 3 & 4

Eden Bridal's Royal Blue

The 4 of us spent all of lunch (well, a lot of lunch, most of it was spent stuffing out faces with Thai/Malaysian at Penang, which is my new favorite restaurant!) flipping back & forth between these 2 photos and trying to select one. One of my biggest difficulties came from the fact that only one of them was Dessy, so I wasn't able to picture the color I wanted for the majority of the dresses. I HATE that bridal shops have the tiniest piece of fabric ever, glued onto a card with a billion other tiny pieces of fabric, to provide a bride for selecting a color. As a matter of fact, I think the swatch I was able to see was the size of this image--it was as close to my sapphire as I was able to find in the Eden line. now that I have images next to each other, I'm a little more confident in the match, but I still have to get Ellie her vest, so am hoping we can make it work so she matches the girls. the guys will be easy because we're keeping the Dessy Clover. I'm looking forward to the dresses coming in so I can actually SEE what they look like. Anyone with mad photo-editing skills want to try and create a vision for me? :P

A Weddingy Christmas Surprise

The other day, a package from Erica Ewing Photography came in the mail for Ellie and I. I have to admit that I wasn't expecting anything from her, let alone a fairly large package (a card, while unexpected, wouldn't have been entirely surprising since she IS our photographer).

Package from Erica--much bigger than a card, although smaller than a toaster

Despite my excitement about seeing what she'd sent (I have seen posts from other brides that talk about getting small gifts from various vendors they are working with), I had to wait until Ellie got home from her OT shift. I barely let her get in the door before I was begging her to let me open it...

I'll admit that I was a bad blogger & tore into it without photologging the experience--this is a staged image

Underneath an adorable Christmas card of her son was THIS baby--DEFINITELY a present! I unrolled and unrolled and unrolled; first the mesh wrap you see in the above picture (it made me think she'd sent fruit), then tissue paper, then bubble wrap! The bubble wrap confirmed that it wasn't fruit, this was something nice. Afterward, Ellie and I both admitted we thought it was going to be a cute little frame when we saw the bubble wrap since she IS a photographer. Finally, out rolled the sweetest votive holder:

Crappy picture with bad lighting--I'm never going to be a professional

How festive and sweet, right? I knew we picked the right photographer! Thanks Erica, we're definitely looking forward to working with you this year!!

Game ON!!! Wedding on!!!

So time has been flying by and I keep dragging my feet on things that need to be worked on now. For one thing I need to work on this weight thing. I really would like to be in the shape i was when I met Jessi. This is my own personal goal but would like to look "pretty fly" for the wedding. but that means 20 lbs (or more) down and some serious toning.

Second this DJ thing. I contacted a DJ through their website but i never heard back from them. Should I assume they never received the request or the fact it is a same-sex couple freak him out??? Sigh. The other DJ group that is used often by our venue is a entertainment company and I don't know what I feel about that. Part of me prefer the small mom and pop shop. Then again the other group has a few more bells and whistle. To me, music is in the top 10 things about our wedding. Since Jessi always says that I have a constant musical playing in my head and often I will break into song in the grocery store... music is important and basically the one thing I am in charge of.

Third I want to start planning for the people coming from out of town. I kind of want to set up a way for people to communicate, possibly share rides from the airport, if needed share rooms. I know this does not have to be done now but I want people to not feel that coming to our wedding is in any way overwhelming.

Fourth, we need to make a registry. Yes the majority of our registry will be for our honeymoon, but everyone wants some crazy kitchen gadget or towel warmer...

Fourth, we need to figure out the cake topper situation. Jessi and I are working on it...

Fifth, decide what we are really doing about the center pieces.. I would like to get some things done now and checked off the list as COMPLETELY DONE.

time is flying it's less than 11 months away... Very excited... hopefully this post will push me into action... hopefully.

Photography the Second

On Thursday, we saw a second photographer, Jim at JMN Productions. Now, I didn't find him through a wedding expo, or in my other wedding-related searching; he happens to be a good friend of my dad's from childhood. I was hesitant to meet with him in case he thought I was trying to get a deal or something, and because I had always known him to be into videography--my dad didn't even know Jim was doing photography until last year when, amazingly, one of his co-workers hired Jim to do her wedding video and photos.

He's shy, which is not surprising considering he's friends with my dad, who's not the most socially adept person--only someone of a similar mindset could be friends with him for going on 40 years, and not as polished as I maybe expected--he didn't have any sample albums, only prints of individual pics, didn't have many weddings to display in the pics he did have (which doesn't surprise me as he's mostly into the video thing--there were TONS of DVD's in his studio!), and wasn't great at explaining how the album is created or layed out. We're going to have to settle this pretty soon so we don't keep Erica hanging on, and so we can get to the next stage of planning: Save the Dates!!

Our First Photographer

Yesterday, we had the chance to meet with Erica Ewing from Erica Ewing Photography. I met her at the Wedding Expo Jeremy & I attended back in April (this is his review, I know that I should have done one, but I got lazy and now it's too late). He went to ensure this was an expo that he really was interested in participating in. I went to start collecting data on photographers because I know we're getting to a point where I need to book--photographers kept saying that they were already booking September 2012 dates.

Honestly, I only liked one of the photographers we met there--Erica (duh, otherwise, why would I be putting that into this post about visiting her). Some of them were dismissed by Jeremy, my photo expert, as being "TOO" (costly, amateur, formal, informal, fake, etc). Some were incredibly pushy, which I dislike heartily--if you want me to even give you a second thought, don't step into my way as I'm wandering, don't criticize the other photographers (I'm not saying don't tell me what you do that they don't, or detail out how you work, but saying that you're better, or have a better product is egotistical to me).

Anyway, back to Erica. She's probably about our age, which I feel gives her an idea of what photography in 2012 looks like. I (and Jeremy) LOVED that she remembered his blog post about the last Expo we attended, which shows GREAT attention to detail. She sent a follow-up email right away and when I replied, we had a little conversation about Castle in the Clouds--a place she loves--because she'd read the site. When we showed up yesterday, we talked about how this site had given her a lot of feeling for who we are as people and a couple. I like that she took the time to review the site before meeting with us--it shows she cares, but not in a creepy way like a certain someone at a certain potential venue.

As happy as I've been that we've been meeting with super nice, it sucks because I just want to say yes to everyone. I'm no good at shopping around.

Two Birds, One Week

Holy crap, I have a dress AND venue!! Here's the story in a nutshell:

Last weekend, was the "dress looking" trip to NYC. I was NOT getting a dress. The plan was to get to the city, find our hotel, then come back into Manhattan to eat & putz around until Carrie got into town. Well, RK Bridal, the dress shop that was highly recommended to Jere, was actually right around the corner from where we got off the bus, so we figured it wouldn't hurt to go over.

Gilda was the 70-year old Jewish grandmother every girl needs--she heard my street size, told me I was in "The Diva Collection" and we started shopping. I was happy that part of our shopping included a tour of the discounted racks, since that's about my price range. All in all, I tried on about 9 dresses, most with some color, which was a requirement. The second dress I tried was an Alfred Angelo (actually, most were by him, which was convenient since most of the dresses I've loved were his designs). I fell in love instantly. The fact that it had come from the discount rack made it even MORE appealing (can you say 70% off?? I know you can.), but I kept trying dresses just in case. There was another dress I loved (also by Alfred Angelo), but it wasn't as perfect.

Needless to say, I bought the dress. Yes, you read right, I bought the 2nd dress I ever tried on, on a trip where I wasn't supposed to be buying dresses--and I had to tote it home on the bus!! But it is safely sitting in Jere's office closet waiting for me to find a good seamstress to take it in and make the alterations I want. No, my dress isn't available on the website, so don't think you've found it if you go perusing--it was a discontinued model, and I got the floor sample.

The Venue...as you all know, we were in a pickle about where to have the wedding. Mostly because it was Ellie's preference, partly because there were some details about H that we couldn't overlook, we went with the Doubletree Bedford Glen. We would be happy at either venue, but after going over the good, bad and mediocre between ourselves and getting feedback from former brides, we went with the place that was able to best give us exactly what we needed. I'm super pumped, we have a few days to sign the contract and put in the deposit, then it's REALLY ours!

Now to look into Save-The-Dates...

Getting My Feet Wet

I didn't discuss this earlier, but I attended my first Wedding Expo a couple of weeks ago, hosted by The Original Wedding Expo by Chevaller Associates in Marlborough, MA. I was lucky enough to get a free ticket from Jeremy at 241South Studios, who is thinking about exhibiting at a future expo (you can see his review here).

It was fun. Most of the reception sites are outside of my search area--we don't want people who are coming from out of state to have to travel too far from the airport or major roadway. Because the Expo was in Central MA, many of the vendors were a little too far west to be a real contender. But I was able to find a possible vendor for Ellie's outfit, got to meet a LOT of photographers (it's what Jeremy does, we spent quite a bit of time at all of the photographer booths). I was a little put off by the number of vendors that were really aggressive, but I hear that's just what they do. I did find one vendor that works in silk flowers that looked very real, so that was a positive. It gave me an idea of what to expect when Ellie and I go to shows in the future.

Pictures!

The engagement photos are here!! There are 61 photos, in a mix of color, black & white and sepia. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am with them. While you CAN order them if you'd like, we are planning to order some for giving out. Leave comments with your favorite pic #'s so we can see what people like best.

Maybe I'm being too much of a sales person, but if you are in need of professional photography of any sort, whether it's formal or fun, I HIGHLY recommend Jeremy; and not just because he's my friend, but because he does amazing work.

Engagement Shoot

Yesterday we finally had our engagement shoot!! My wonderful friend Jeremy of 241South Studios did them and it was a ton of fun. I've posted a review on the People & Places tab, so please check it out. Once we get the pics in, I'll be either posting them or a link to his site.