ALL. THE. THINGS.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember a post or two discussing the cost of a wedding (and not just for the couple--the female bridal party is expected to spend an arm and a leg too). Having been to a few wedding expos, and reading more than my fair share of wedding blogs/forums/sites, I have been drowning in the "should's" and "trends" that pervade the internet. It's daunting to put it lightly.

Then, I read a post on Weddingbee, (yes, Miss Treasure, I ripped off your title too!) in which the bride-to-bee (pun intended) wrote about her planning experiences and how she is reacting to them,

"My problem with the WIC is that it simultaneously trivializes and exaggerates the act of getting married while barely addressing the subject of marriage at all. [bolding is mine]

The WIC turns the act of getting married into an overblown, theatrical event, minimizing the importance and gravity of the commitment that weddings represent. Have you ever read an article in a bridal magazine about how to maintain a good, loving relationship with your partner for decades to come? Me either. Instead, you get articles like “516 Ways to Wow Your Guests!” and “10 Surprising Beauty Foods: Eat Up Girls!” (These are real headlines from real bridal magazines I have in my apartment right now.) The WIC makes women (and their partners) feel that they have to spend all their money on the perfect dress/ring/shoes/hairstyle, or else they risk offending everyone. The WIC is what makes people look at you a little funny when you say you don’t have wedding colors or you might not do a bouquet/garter toss."

Of course I want the wedding to be wonderful. And I'm obviously not going against any of my personal aesthetic or beliefs to ensure it's "perfect," but it's hard to not be affected.  A LOT of people question my decision to not use flowers, and I had a mini existential crisis about it--I was on the verge of making/buying fake flowers for a while because of it. At the same time, we decided to not go with the photo booth, despite how POPULAR they are right now (and how much we like them) because we couldn't justify the expense to ourselves. You know my current favorite "must" from the WIC? That your dress must be "timeless and classic" so you're not embarrassed in 10, 15, 20 years when you look at your wedding photos. Now, mine probably meets those criteria, but not on purpose--I chose my dress because it was what I LIKED, it met my expectations and desires, and I looked great in it. When I look at my future sister-in-lawss wedding picture, do I sometimes smile because you can tell she got married 10 years ago? Absolutely (sorry Heidi!), but that doesn't mean she's not beautiful or that she regrets her decision (not that I know...). I simply mean that honestly, "timeless and classic" don't actually exist. It comes down to what the couple wants.

We strongly feel that the wedding needs to reflect US, regardless of what everyone else is or isn't supporting. Sure, compromises have been made, but that's part of the beauty of planning a wedding TOGETHER, with your partner.